My story goes>>

my grandma!

2006-08-27T06:34:00.001-07:00

Sorie to block after so long..coz com got a bit problem cant get into blogger..Recently wasnt doing well coz having a slight fever,sore throat and cough..feeling terrible..somemore my grandma cant make it le..she were just go anytime..i noe that born,old,sick, death is wat everyone of us were go through de..as a nurse i have been trying to act strong in front of my family..but inside me i were always keep memories that my ah ma gave me..she use to chat with me,walk ard but now she cant do anything of the thing le..her condition is getting worst everynite my family were came over n visit my ah ma..like today i sit beside ah ma,aunty was just rite behind me she kept on crying n crying..den uncle came told ah ma not to worry n touch her head..that scene tears just roll down..i think ah ma is veri fortunate to have such a good son being with him all this while..now the family already discuss abt ah ma funeral thing le..oni my dad n eldest uncle agree to burn ah ma but the rest of us cant bear to burn her..when ever talk abt this it were just remind me of wat happened 2 years ago when shimin was being burnt..though that time we r just 3wks frene but we r just close like sister i almost cried till i fainted thats y i cant bear to see ah ma being burn..

my grandma!

2006-08-27T06:34:00.000-07:00

The most beautiful firework that i have ever seen!!

2006-08-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

First day working at department store, wear the wrong shoes bcoz it should be in black colour but i have throw my nursing shoes away le so i just wear the red 1..luckily aunty got a pair of black shoes at the department shore so i don have to go n get a new wan..standing the whole day making my leg damn painful..My colleague is all aunty..i hate the pple who look at me in another way..kept on asking how am i related to annie..i didnt say anything just kept quiet..wat am i supposed to ans??Anyone understand my feeling??Was thinking of just working till the end of this month but i also doesnt wan aunty to noe the real reason..can anyone tell me wat should i do?? at 5pm ytd when i was abt to knock off..my grp 0641 which include jason,kel n rasidah came to find me den we went to national stadium..but ytd there is another malay gal who join us who is rasidah frene..Arrived at the kallang mrt ctrl there was damn a lotz of pple..we took a bus n stop somewhere near s'pore indoor stadium den we went round n round trying to find the "big screen" that rasidah mention but ended up it was already 7pm le..we still cant find so we decided to go to my hs n watch the rest of the performance n watch firework but who knows we cant hire any cab so ended we sit behind the stadium till 8 n finally the beautiful firework just appeared in front of us..jason n rasidah took their hp n video the firework but jason hp was veri blur..this is the most beautiful firework that i have ever seen coz got someone beside me..hehe..
After firework we walk all the way out to the main road n wait for my dad to come n fetch us as it is veri difficult to hire a cab over there..den we head to beach road for dinner..after dinner we walk to bugis n take transport home but along the way everyone seem to be trouble..kel was trouble with claudia thing,rasidah was trouble with her guy thing n oni after we left den i noe that jason was also trouble by his ex thing..though the 4 of us is so close but there r always certain thing that 1 or 2 of us do not noe..but no matter wat happened we r veri grad to have one another around..along the way edmund called so i supposed something happened to him n ling again..he say that he is veri bored so i ask him to come over my place here the playground and chat but he say he feel like drinking so i acc him down to life for awhile..instead of hearing his problem think he was the one who hear my problem..i dont know y i feel this way but ytd while waiting for ed at life i suddenly feel like crying as if a lotz of things is bothering me..maybe i didnt know wat is troubling him so i also feel veri uneasy..anywax rite after drink we went hm together with my xiaomei..hehe

Just cant along with family member..

2006-08-08T06:05:00.000-07:00

Today after sch ard 3pm i meet up with yan xuan n go her house to revise sch work..as i got exam coming soon..Think her family really met with lotz of problem too..her dad was out le but attitude still the same making yan xuan so frustrated..everytime saw her mother her mother were cried de..said that she dont wan to live anymore coz no point as husband always bully her..think her mental got a bit of problem le..she really got to learn n cope with her stress if not she were really go crazy de..haiz..jia jia you ben nan nian de jin..after revision i went home for dinner..ltr still gotta go to momo as ah seng as us to go bcoz tonite there were be a party so just go n add in the fun..hope that the entrance fee is free lo..lol..

cassendra is back

2006-08-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

Lolx...My best frene cassendra is back in s'pore again..she were be joining for svc with me too..so happi lo..haha..ytd evening after my lesson i went home for dinner..ard 6plus i received a private call so i thought that its ling who call me coz her house no is private no who knows its cassendra she just reach s'pore n she call me from tpy..n ask me whether she is able to stay at my hs for i nite so i agree anywax she also use to stay in my hs ma..somemore all her luggage is at my place also..she were be staying in s'pore permanently as she came here with agent so she has found a job n were be here for long..soon she were found a room in s'pore n my hs were be more spacious liao..hehe..
Today came to sch just for a lesson at 11am till 12pm den all the way till 4pm den i got a lesson..haiz..now i am damn boring coz no one was with me lor..kel also don noe lesson till wat time le..msg and call him also no reply..sian..

Happi nurses day!!

2006-08-01T07:58:00.000-07:00

Once again its nurses day again..Never in my life i am going to forget that this day is shimin Birthday..This morning after breakfast i went down to cck columbrium n visit shimin..none of my frene is free to go with me coz they got lesson in the morning 8am..so i went there alone..everytime when i go there, there is always such a weird feeling..there is always so much that i want to tell shimin..i always remember wat had happened 2 years ago..But the ca fare today spend me 20 over dollars lor..feel like crying sia..the meter jump damn fast sia..haiz..
After sch i went to orchard n meet karen..it has been such a long time since i last met her..hehe..think she is veri happi leaving now..she get along veri well with her current bf compare to daryl..But her da xiao jei attitude were nv change de..we went far east walk walk den we went wheelock fish n co n have our dinner..btw thw fisn n chips there is damn oily till i almost vomitted lor..so guilty after eating lor..n my hp was damn flat now..whole nite no one can get me n i finally got my charger work...haiz..need to waste money again...

Shimin hs...

2006-07-23T00:36:00.001-07:00

Shimin move to her uncle hs few weeks ago n ytd she open a hs warming..but due to work i didnt go but instead we go down to life for a drink bfore going shimin hs n slp..actually we plan to go the red pub but gillian no longer work there bcoz the pub concept has change she didnt like it so she quit so we change n go life..hehe..Dont noe y shimin went to open 1 bottle of vodka lor..but by the time i reach the vodka oni left a little little bit le..bing ling drunk ard 6 glass ytd n she got drunk..due to leng got to go first so i go to shimin hs with ivy n bing ling..To all our expectation bing ling n melvin finally together le..lolx..they 2 after contacting sometime finally got together le i also feel so happi for them lor..but in the future definately we were make fun of them de..
When for svc this morning n was late coz i went to eat breakfast with leng as both of us are damn hungry lor..When we arrived there is a long queue outside hall 8..Long time nv see pastor kong le..so happi to see him again..hehe...From 22/7 -17/9 pastor kong were be preaching on "Making marriage work"..today is the first day i went for this course..its so fun n funny..lolx..today lesson 2 talks abt the couple's role..Now back to hm again need to do my hmwork le..sian ahh...

Shimin hs...

2006-07-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

Home alone

2006-07-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

My bao bei sister went camping ytd were be back on fri..dad working..was alone at hm lor...went online but not much people just to see 1 person..haiz..think i abit siao sia..lolx...
Repeating modules with all guys doing my presentation..make me so sian..coz they really not as hard working as girls..haiz...all leave the work to me make me headache lor..somemore maternal modules the sharon fung so sian lor..teaching oni make me wan to slp...After so many days really dont noe wat sld i write le..shall update again lo...miss u guys...

World cup

2006-06-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

World cup is going to end soon le..hw i wish that the final is today so no one can fight the tv with me le..lol..i am at hm alone now but out of a sudden i were heard pple screaming..haiz..anywax i am not interseted at all...hehe
For the past 5 days everyday i also meet ling lor..its either she came over to my hs or we went out together...2 days ago ed and ling camne over to my place den after the 9pm show me,my sis ,ed and ling went down to my hs downstairs the playground to chat and play five ten..lolx..like nothing beta to do..we went to 7-eleven and buy 2 bottle of vodka den the four of us sit at the playground and play five ten till our drink finish den we decided to play true or dare with the vodka bottle..that nite really a lotz of true is out le but all this secret is just between the 4 of us...after listening to the story of edmund tattoo ling almost break up with ed but i feel that its not worth it to end a relationship just becoz u cant accept the tattoo..after wat ed say the both of us intended to put a tattoo as well..ling is veri confirm to have 1 but i have been thinking this few days should i put annot coz if i put its will be with me forever le..but there is someone that i really wan to have in me forever..the problem is whether its worth it annot..but if i really put 1 think if my dad saw it he will kill me lor...haiz..anywax i wont make my decision so fast de..
meet up with kel,ling and claudia today think ling really don like claudia and according to kel claudia also don like ling so both me and kel is like dont noe wat to do lor so trying to entertain..hehe..anywax she does look bitchy but she is still quite friendly..conclusion still not ad for kel la..lol..

A hard time

2006-06-28T01:42:00.000-07:00

27/6/06
Went back to sch n meet benny to study in the library,was surprised to see that not even a table is available..business n engine sch pple is every where studying so i went over to the watching movies area n found a seat n study there alone till benny arrived den we discuss abt the bio worksheet that theresa has given us..still gt a few things before i complete all..
Half way through sister call me and told me that aunty is at hm so she dont noe wat to do n dont dare to go into the hs so i ask her to go over to ah ma hs..but after awhile dad call me and told me that sis is at hm le and even give drinks to the aunty i was so surprised lor..dad also veri happy..after i reach hm we went for dinner together..suddenly realise that my sister has grow up le..she finally accepted the aunty..though she nv talk but i noe that she has accepted the aunty now the problem oni whether she will be able to get along with our "bro" or not..but i still think that give her some time she will definately be ale to adapt to it de..But think our family need to hold hand to hand to walk through another problem which is to let the rest of the family to accept it..i cant imagine wat will happened but still hope for the good to end this thing...
Now most of my family has noe that my sis is not straight le n ask me wat happened wat am i supposed to say?do they understand hw she feels they dont de lor..pple always tell me to talk to my sister but if its so easy den in this world there wont be so many girls becoming a butch le..i noe that saying so much wont help instead might even get worst but i just wan her to noe that everyone cares abt her..
Ling n edmund came to my hs in the evening after my dinner den we watch tv till they went hm..

happi for frene..

2006-06-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

Ling and ed is back from taiwan le..when to fetch them at airport on sat after work..realise that ling become veri hip hop after back from taiwan sia..think gt influence by edmund lor..hehe..though my est frene is sick but i guess she did enjoy herself a lotz at taiwan.. she brought my a pair of butterfly earing and a file..they really noe hw to spent lor got back with lotz of branded stuff..after meeting them we straight go to conspiracy pub for a drink coz they wan to drink n they still have balance martell there so i go lor since they persue it..but ended up i drank the most coz i kept losing them playing five ten..haiz..vomitted when i reach hm lor..it has been real long since i last gt drunk le..i hate the feeling of getting drunk its so terrible..
Jack mummy msg me everyday n ask how is my sis think she is a veri nice mum..though nv see her in real person before but talking with her on the phone i felt that she is veri motherly..hehe..today as usual she ask my hw is dawn...she even say wanna bring us to tioman..i really wish to go tioman last time always discuss with rachel but i nv had a chance to go..but dont noe my sis wanna go annot..if she agree then we shall go next week coz i am quite free on weekday..dont noe ah..tml need to go back to sch n meet psycho lecture also not sure when is the class starting..
tml after meeting still got to meet kel n that claudia..haiz think they r going to be together soon lor..just hope that she were treat kel good lor...this kel also dont noe hw to say ah...but i still need to get photo from ling but tml i definately cannot meet kel n ling at the same time de..hw le? big problem now..worst come to worst i just meet kel for awhile lor..anywax i also dont wish to be a light bulb..lol...

Free for 5 weeks..

2006-06-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

omg..i am going to be free for 5weeks..no class for 5weeks..was wondering wat can i do but think i got no choice but to study..haiz..
ling n kel came to great world n look for me just nw..but just awhile they walk off liao lor..anyway mayb meeting her tml coz she is going to taiwan on tues so tot of going shopping with her..hehe..
Ytd went to celebrate rachel bdae at tpy sakura..had enjoyed ourself coz it has been a long time since we last met as a class le..had a great meal..got lotz n lotz of food..hehe...lili use to eat a lotz of rounds but ytd she just ate 1 round lor..a bit of unbelievable ..lol...but still in my heart i felt that there is something wrong between me n rachel though she nv gave me that impression..
June is my most spending month..every year during this year i gt to spent lotz lotz of money on frene present..4th hazel bdae,10th rachel bdae, 14th viki bdae, 24th yan xuan bdae,25th derek bdae, 16th is my daddy bdae..ahhh....

First day at IMH..

2006-05-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

Ytd is my 1st day at IMH..meet kelvin at boon keng mrt den we take train to buangkok n took bus 43 to IMH..Saw murnirah and aini at the bus stop she look totally different when she was in her judon..lol..The whole morning in IMH we just basically listen to the sister orientate us talking abt IMH history n so on..she say until i slp in the lecture hall lor..After lunch lecturer bring us for a ward tour..when i step into the ward my tears kept rolling down i cant control my tears..it just bring back my memories when my mom was in hospital..the ward sister ask me y i cried n i personally explain to her..but at the later of the day my mood somehow has calm down a bit le..
Today i worked afternoon shift..day is bored n relax in imh ward we dont have to do the thngs that we usually do in medical ward..dont have to feed patient dont have to change diapers dont have to bath patient..instead our job there is just chatting n playing with the patient..met a patient today the way she do things n say things just look exactly like my mummy..but i simply don chap coz i am really tired n sick of pple who talk rubbish...but i got no choice there still gt to listen but felt that i am just pretending..papa kept telling me 2 weeks there is veri fast de just do wat i am supposed to do can le..dont think too much..

last day at kkh

2006-05-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

Time flies..tml is my last day at kkh le...i miss those baby they r really lovely..i miss the day i change their diaper n the day that i feed them..they r really cute..omg..in obs ward really c different kind of mother but many give birth at a veri young age..though the ward staff nurse not really veri good but we r lucky that we have a gd lecturer taking over us..though she is busy but everyday without failed she were still tried her best to teach us something..n she is the first lecturer that i met who r knowlegeable but still can joke with us de..its really fun working with her..
Btw i apologise to all my frene that has been rreading to my blog coz i am really too busy with work le totally gt no time to blog..Currently i am working in xodus great world..if anyone free can just pass by there n visit me..lolx..anyway i wont be working too many days next mth also coz gt attachment at imh n ttsh...thanx a lotz shall update my blog asap again..

Kind of miss the day..

2006-04-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

met up with ivy ytd nite after work to eat prata at my hs here...after supper we chat till 2 plus lor..but think its a good fellowship get to noe her more le..den she came to my hs and slp..went for lunch at kfc with her..pass y boon keng mrt den saw edwin he was patrolling..so poor thing good friday he still got duty..seeing him kind of miss the day that we have went out together..
Its good friday today and i still got to work 4pm at cartel ltr..haiz..today definately its going to be veri busy..sian lor..cant imagine wat will happened ltr..siao ar..okie la shall write till here me going to watch tv le..hehe..

xodus

2006-04-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

today is my first day workin at ps xodus...colleague still okie but working veri sian lor..shoes,shoes n shoes...stand the whole day my leg veri pain lor..my buddy kelvin problem now is getting more n more complicated le..haiz..still gt to hide sthing from him..this wed is both ling n kelvin kong bdae...den got to go sing k wif kelvin den after that go down to life to celebrate ling bdae..haiz think that day don noe wat will happen lor..she called everyone except kelvin n wan me to hide from kel wat to do le...i am going crazy veri soon..haiz..hope everything were went well ba..

Friend, friends, friendss..

2006-03-30T05:39:00.000-08:00

Ling and kel relationship gt problem again n i am stuck in the middle again..still think that kel can find someone beta than ling..all i have doing i just want to c my best buddy happy..sometime i will think that am i veri busybody..but now my relationship with ling is like shit lor..i started not to trust her le..she cant lie without blinking her eye..now thinking of seeing her i will be veri sian..ed promise me sthing he failed to do it n instead he fall for ling n luckily kel understand if not i really in a worst state..y this year nothing seem to be going smooth..
Started getting tired working in life..relationship with mabel is getting worst..think richard started to dislike me le..ytd working in cartel as cashier at the end of the day i sort of 8.80 lor..wan to cried liao lor..its almost my 2hr pay lor..sian..like doing cashier but y am i always sort of money de..think there is sthing wrong with my mathematics..hehe..
Tml psycho test don noe can make it annot le..like no confident at all le...has been studying the whole day but don noe where am i heading lor..luckily online awhile saw rachel hopefully her tips is useful lor..coz my grp presentation for psycho also not veri good ma..
Today veri funny give kel someone no don noe how were they go le..but all i want is kel will give up ling coz i dont want him to get hurt at the end..coz when sthing happened again n again a person were definately get tired de..just like me clubing clubbing now like a it sian le..but once in a while still okie la..
HOPING TO GET A 7370 LE..DON NOE WHEN CAN I GET IT LE..COZ ITS STILL SO EX..OMG!!

First time saw karen drunk..

2006-03-20T07:21:00.000-08:00

Meet karen after working at cartel..den we go fox n buy shirts den after that we go tcc for a drink n eat my fav potatoes wedges..hehe...have a great chat with her..coz fri gt a veri bad misunderstanding between me,ed n karen..but after ytd nite everything is settle le...felt veri bad coz i have wrong edmund..but seriously think i am oni being affected by danniel..see him i really veri sian..somemore he still bring 2 fucker gal frene who give me attitude whereby i didnt do anything wrong lor..damn fuck up that day..
Ytd after nite work went down to karen hs n pick her up den we go este..its out first time there lor..luckily i gt frene noe that boss if not sian lor..but drinks damn ex..1 jug vodka cranberry 44 DOLLARS..the worst vodka i have ever drink lor... Went clubbing with karen so many times this is the first time i saw her drunk until like that lor..but her drinking not that lan le..so i suspected that someone put pills into her glass but was still thinking when they do that?if not karen wont drunk till like this de..but definately were be the time that edmund wasnt ard yet..really thanx that edmund was there lor if not alone i wont be able to bring karen all the way hm also...after sitting awhile outside mos we send karen hm..den stay at her hs downstairs chatting with ed ard 8am den reach hm wau lau er..veri veri tired lor...

Practical test on thurs...

2006-03-13T21:02:00.000-08:00

Gt a practical test on thurs..me like retest too many time till i get use to it le..now not veri scared le coz if fail then retest lor..the theory result also don noe how le..anyway i am already prepared for the worst le...
Ytd nite went out with shimin again for a drink at cosy bay located behind s'pore indoor stadium...i like that place man after that time edmund bring us there..i always went out with shimin its becoz i don wan her to feel lonely n think too much but she somehow like get the wrong idea le..haiz..wat am i supposed to do now le..1 is her and 1 is jack both to me is just best frene..i can say is nothing more than that le..but i also don wan to hurt her wat should i do le?veri veri confused now..i know myself lor..i am always veri straight de..but she told me to think abt it but i can oni give her one ans..sian ar..looks like guys all die liao lor..
Siqiao ytd msg me that hazel was going to cry saying that she wan me to be her buddy n doesnt wan to break up the friendship..but do u think that i want to do that..i gt my own reason too..she always dont noe hw to deals with problems..and in my whole life this is the first time that a person called n scolded me till i couldnt open my mouth and say a word lor..do u think that is my fault?Btw i am not angry with hazel anymore le..its just that i felt that if her pattern also be like this i really don noe hw to be frene back with her ..do u think that i will bear to lost this buddy? somemore we still gt 2 mths attachment going to be together and throughout the 2 mth we r going to be in the same ward lor same hospital man..hospital is the place that bring us together as buddy i also dont wish to make the whole attachment so down..someone pls tell me wat am i supposed to do??
Staying at hm on weekend bassically just sleeping..like gain back the trust from dad again..but think i shouldnt have stay out till veri late almost every nite..currently was planning to go bankok with a few of my classmate n karen..actually decided to go genting de but heard that now the air tickets to thailand is cheap so might as well spent a bit more to thailand..can u imagine s'pore airline to bankok is just 150 dollars and the stay is just 85 dollars for 3 dyas 2 nite lor..its so worth it..going to check the flying date again le..take care kk my dear frene...

test again..

2006-03-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

Hey my dear frene who has been reading my blog all this while..sorie tat i haven been writting my blog 4 quite sometime le...Has been chionging n working none stop all this while..life is still okie..not to worries have get to know alot n learn a lot in nite life...still not to bad that i make new frene in life entertainment ..not bad pple but just veri playful..but somehow i have neglected important person in my life..think i really owe him a lotz..making a fool of myself n make a round ig turn n came to realise tat i oni miss him..how??hw am i going to bring back him..dont care liao..exam time again..stress came again...after exam den i write again ba..take care my dear..

presentation finished

2006-02-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

Suddenly realised that hw much danniel mean to me...Am i regretting nw? No matter wat i still wont contact him..Really missed him le..hw ?without him going places with me like abit uncomfortable..haiz...went svc ytd and missed pst kong and pst sun so much..but pst sun is getting thinner lor...Went momo ytd still quite like the place..the oni thing that irritates me is hl frene..sian lor..all her frene like shit lor...

2 more presentation to go..

2006-02-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

Today is wed le..i still gt 2 more presentation to go ..yea..by this fri finish and i can go out and chiong le...lolx..he msg me again le..seriously speaking i have already told him and ask my frene to tell him not to msg or call me anymore le..cant he just do it..i am just tired le..mon work till 2am..den ytd work till 10pm..tired till siao like that..today ask kel to scan card for me at 8am coz i noe that i couldnt wake up in the morning and though that the next lesson is at 9am and which is lab but it was lecture and till 1pm then gt lesson if i would know earlier i would have stay at hm and slp le..wau lau..veri tired lor..anyway i just use this 2 hr to do my presentation thingy...till now still haven find finish my info for the maternal de..sian..
Ytd went hm and saw sister sad face n she told me that she is going to get her 'o' level result this fri and was veri worried so this morning i gave her an sms told her not to be sad there is always a way out de..but she reply me that she is not worried abt her result but is ah ma condition coz heard she say that ah ma condition is getting worst le..but i didnt have any feeling coz i have already prepared long ago le..worst come to worst is just cry...anyway life is like this everyone gt to die anyway ah ma is so old liao..and see her like that think its beta that she leave so that she wont be so miserable rather than now leaving in pain...i believe that the whole family have prepare for the worst liao ba...the oni thing that concern abt me is whether i sld take joss stick annot..think the decision were be out soon le...
Later after lesson today we are going to veron hs den to chunyi hs for steamboat..but veron mum is veri tradition so all of us gt to bring orange along but all of us didnt bring so we were go to my hs and take orange first before heading to veron hs..haiz think by the time we reach chunyi hs is don noe wat time le...this is how i am going to spend my day le...

Chingay today!!

2006-02-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

Its sat again..think it has been 2 weeks since i last contact him liao ba..think time were change everything ba..wanted to get back but i kept telling myself that i cant..
Am i veri selfish now??Think its going to be veri unfair to both party..But since i get into it think its going to be diff to get out..sooner or ltr think things were change ba..
The place where ling work at blue liquid mostly is youngster not like life all uncle..hehe..think its going to be a good starting for her also..Hope that soon its going to be mine turn..lolx..
Lost my hp in bus ytd whilw going to grandma hs and gave money to mummy..That panasonic phone was my favourite lor..haiz..but heard rachel say that there is a lotz selling at ang mo kio central..i wan to get back that phone again but at the same time i dont wish to coz felt like cancelling my starhub line...Veri fan ar don noe wat to do..

Happy cny!!

2006-01-28T11:33:00.000-08:00

One year has gone le..its a starting of a new year..To all my dear frene wanna wish u guys a happy chinese new year!!
Went to double o ytd with karen and daryl and meet karen frene at there..Ytd the place was crowded like hell...And somemore the music wasnt veri good le..We stay till it close at 3am didnt know that it close so early over there..when wanna get my bag the queue is long like dont noe wat lor..Den saw berlinda and mel outside doubleo..
Today stay at hm the whole afternoon actually wanna help with the cooking but there is nothing to help le coz sonia had help aunty do most of the job le..So i have een watching tv with papa the whole afternoon lor..After reunion dinner stay with cousin to play some game actually wanna play blackjack de..but karen call me so we went down to town party world n sing lor with daryl and daryl sis..and it really cost me a bomb man this is the 1st time that i sing for just 3 hr and need to pay so much not worth it lor..but den hor if not i were be veri boring wan lor the whole day like oni eating and drinking..Sian le wat a new year i have spent...haiz...

Damn idiot day!!!

2006-01-27T00:33:00.000-08:00

Some sickening pple saying sickening thing and spoilt my whole day mood...I am trying to forget everything le hw cum he want to make things big since he want to do this the game shall begin..Dont trest me like a stupid and doing all those nonsense things...But at the same time i also don want to coz trouble to kelvin..
Today is my nephew xavier 1 mth old celebration..buffet starting at 6pm so ltr after sch i gt to go down le..and also gt to go down to life and get my pay..maybe going to momo with karen but oni e 2 of us le..a bit sian la..at first her bf say wan to go ktv but after thinking like a bit stupid le coz my lesson end at 8pm den go down and sing also no point oni waste money..tml is reunion dinner le..but my hs fridge is veri empty le so tonite if can i wan to go down to market and buy food..hehe..Wat a sickening year i have spent hope that those irritating person wont come n fan me during chinese new year...

Breaking friendship..

2006-01-23T20:13:00.000-08:00

With my own hand i break up all the friendship..who can i trust i dont noe..who sld i look for i also dont know..Wat if dad know abt all the things that has been happened..pple were use wat kind of eye and look at me..
New year is coming but this year is the most sucking year i have ever spend..Am i going to tell him??This has become a habit i can no longer get out of it i know veri clearly myself..I am veri tired real tired..tml still got to retake bcls theory paper..thurs got to take bcls practical..
Say is always easlier then done but i always mean wat i say and i believe that i can do it..
Can no longer get out of the hole and i felt that it has been getting deeper and deeper..my 2 year christain life shall end here le..Just felt that i got no rite to be his children anymore..Lie,smoke,club,work in pub,drink all i have done le wat more sld i ask for his forgiveness..

From today onwards wat that has got to do with danniel got nothing to do with me anymore..

2006-01-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Dont noe how to describe my day 2day..supposed to be happy but i am not instead i am veri sad..coz today is the day that i reak up my friendship with danniel and start a relationship another guy..wat am i doing i really dont noe..the worst of all is that i totally dont have any feeling for the guy but instead all my mind is just danniel but oni come to realise that he take me for granted all this while..there are many things that i cant say so i just can keep in me even kel i also cant tell if not all of us were be hurt deeply so i rather i leave...Dont noe wat more i can say just noe that i create all this trouble myself..

Its all crapz!!

2006-01-18T23:23:00.000-08:00

Had a veri bad argument with him ytd..and this is the first time that i hang up his phone..he really irritates me lor..was working till 1am ytd den go hm chat with him still got to listen to all his nonsense..now i finally noe wat he trying to say le..but me slept at 3 plus and wake up at 7 plus can u imagine that i am so tired le but i just slept for 4 hrs..dont noe y i just cant sleep..sian..
Smoke ,smoke ,smoke..it really harms me but i am just too stress up..actually wanna reduced de but this 2 days instead of reducing my cigga has increased lor..haiz...There is something that i really dont know whether he is saying the truth annot my whole mind was so confused now..
Today is the first day of our sch open hs..it remind me of last year..so fast 1 year just passed like that liao..like so meaningless..stress up by all presentation work..so many coming up how r we supposed to know so many lor..everyday also meeting until i also confused liao..

The fear in me do u understand?

2006-01-13T00:54:00.000-08:00

Till now i still cant confirm the feeling..this has been veri weird for the past few days..i dont wanna admitted its just 1 reason coz i dont wanna get hurt again..i am really scared of getting hurt..Since he didnt say anything so i also wont do anything abt it..As all of them say it might be true that both of us got the same feeling but just no one wan to admitted..anyway i am just going to let things goes naturally..
Met up with audrey ytd den noe that she has given me a real GUESS watch the previous year and i think in all my life this is the most expensive present lor..i was so shocked when i know that coz i thought that the watch is a fake one so when i reached hm i quickly go and find the watch out and finally i found it if not my heart were be veri painful lor..Shopping with her for awhile at bugis den we went to pastamania and have dinner and sit there for an hour plus to fellowship..she look veri xin fu and i am really happy for her..Till ytd then i realise that we have actually been frene for so many years le..she was someone that i really wanna treasure as a frene...It also reminds me of the time we have spent together in cg.. Time really flies it has been 2 yr plus le..according to her she has been contacting with apple maybe 1 of the day can meet them out for drink or wat..
Looking at how hazel has been going through this few days i am also veri sad..but sometime watever it is life still got to go on y wanna feel this way just becoz of a girl sometime i just dont understand y she wanna did this to herself..i know she treasure friendship a lotz it same goes for a kinship..Getting angry just becoz of a small thing and wanna break this friendship is it worth it..she is good to friend but still she lack of something definately not everyone is perfect..Friends is just part and pazzle of life one day they were still leave u de..which frene were be with u all of ur whole entire life? To anything she is always veri strong y just this matter make her turn into another person..I have step into a life which totally doesnt belong to me and now i am totally so addicted to it and i really dont noe when were i be getting out of it..and that actually came out from danniel mouth..wat to do...Maybe he were be the one who were bring me out of this trap which i have been in for so many month le..
Later going to veron chalet and from our class got almost 2o pple going so we r going down taking cab coz lesson end at 8pm by the time we reach there were be veri late le..so irritating fri should be a time for us to enjoy dont noe y our class must stay till so late..haiz and its the whole semester lor..not kiddin lor..Think its going to be fun ltr..that danniel also veri funny la most of my frene he also dont noe but he also wanna go really funny lor..anyway its all up to him anyway he know rachel,kelvin and hengling think that is enough for him to crapz le..lolx..
And that irritating wei jie really irritates my day..already told him to leave my frene alone le y must he do all this king of nonsense thing i really regreted knowing this person lor..know make until me feel like beating him lor..if really is frene think he sld respect me lor..and i really hate pple who just ignored my words and thought that i dont know anything...Have enough of it man..

Eddie last day...

2006-01-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

Working ytd at 6pm..thought that sat wont be so busy coz usually sat not busy wan ma..who knows before 6 already got customer liao..den i sian liao lor...den got a few table is book liao..by 6pm like that the whole place is fully book liao...den my kj started to packed..its like all the table also got song lor..put until i going crazy le..thanx god got ling to help me lor..if not i die lor..now i was like permanent kj liao..Danniel,wei jie came first den danniel frene name gordon came..den 10 like that i van then reached lor..anyway ivan oni stay for awhile and went off with his frene after that liao..actually danniel and gordon also going off at 12 plus like that de but ling say wan to open gin for them so they stay lor..worst danniel is drunk lor..but watever it is i still got to pretend that nothing has happened..How i hope that all this feeling is fake..even if its true i wont even say it or wan to do anything abt it coz i know its impossible..wat he doesnt like girls do all i have done already..ytd so usy yet staff oni got 5 pple den closing ling was also a bit drunk liao so i close my kj liao faster got to help out lor..luciky got cindy to help me if not i really dont know how..After work richard treat us to another pub upstair life..there is more to rnb lor..think he just open a bottle of vodka so all of us drink vodka ribena..This is the first time that i drink until i felt that my head is giddy lor and a bit spinning like that..and cant imagine i would do this kind of thing but its nothing serious la..ling is attached so she is different we still got to report to kelvin watever thing happened in life but watever we reported to him its all not true lor..and that is wat i feel guilty abt coz kelvin is my best buddy...hope that after a slp all of us were forget wat has happened in life..maybe all i could say is that kelvin is too dan chun already he look at things too simple liao..anyway lets look forward to tml ba..

Pei fu...

2006-01-05T09:43:00.000-08:00

I really pei fu myself can tahan till now just with a few hrs of slp...Sch so sucking today..hate the grp arrangement, hate ms gwen y want us to do the grping ourself definately cannot make it de lor..i pray and pray that i wont have to grp with wendy but think its heaven will lor..really got no no no choice ended up really got to grp with her..think this semester presentation i am going to die until veri jia liat liao..with pple that i hate in a grp and with pple that not strong in a grp...how r we going to make it le..sian...think oni way is to put effort in my theory paper...Every semester also need to quarrell becoz of this grping thing i am really veri tired liao..coz wendy this type of person there is no point to quarrell with her coz u were find that she is veri childish...this time kelvin is going to be my grp leader..omg..think he is going to be veri stress again le..haha...
Today end lesson at 6pm..and that lesson from 5-6pm just to discuss our grping...after sch went to meet my frene at ktv which located at chinatown..my frene told me that its at outram so i alight at outram lor..who knows when i call him he say its at chinatown lor..but danniel already at outram mrt le...den so sway lor my slipper spoilt so i got to dragged and dragged to buy a new slipper..and i ended up buy a veri ex wan lor..sian...buy our dinner and go into the ktv and eat..this family ktv veri special coz we dont have to keep our food and walk into the ktv like stealing thing like that lor..at first when i organised this ktv thingy i oni thought that oni got a few pple going lor..ended up we got 10 person lor..den we sing till 1pm still dont dare to put down the microphone..haha..Though its so ut we still enjoyed ourself veri veri much...that lirong really can fight with kelvin kong liao..among all my frene that i have seen oni kelvin kong sing the est..but i can tell u that lirong sing hundred times beta then him lor..really veri pei fu him lor...anyway this family ktv was affortable then kelvin and iven seen to like it a lotz wanna another ktv session again...never in my whole life i ever sing with so many pple before lor...anyway i just reached hm..wanna go and slp liao..shall write soon...

Super tired!!

2006-01-04T10:52:00.000-08:00

Work work work and work...this month i really got to work a lotz financially need help man...somemore daddy business wasnt veri good and got to drive so many days taxi in a week..so the more i sld work hard and not get too much money from him liao...Really money is so hard to earn..me just 2 days not slp more then 10hrs i already almost cannot make it liao..and now its 3am in the morning and tml lesson at 9am..feel like sleeping but cant coz charging my mp3..think this stupid mp going to give me trouble soon le..when i got money i were buy a new wan lor..i am so scared to use mine now lor...
Meet up with agnes today after sch we went to watch Nania at suntec city, and she waste another 7 bucks to watch with me lor..before the show start we go carl jr and get a set of burger..and the burger was damn huge..really cannot 1 person eat coz were die de..hehe..luckily got agnes shared with me lor..Wanted to try it long time ago le..just that there isnt any chances..btw it taste like bk..maybe its the burger that i eat...
Eddie is leaving us real soon le..i am veri sad lor..if mabel take over i am really going to stress like hell le...Sian...this is going to continue on sat and sun...

Sch reopen...

2006-01-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

On sat the countdown was the most exciting..don noe y eddie put me in kj..that was oni my 2nd day in kj lor..somemore its new year eve..do liao can die lor..me not veri sure definately were give customer scold de..say is help ling ended up i bao everything..haiz..closing at 3am like that..Richard treat us to drink..and he open 1 vodka for ling..but business compare with last year was really quite bad le..but still hit our target..we sit there and chat till 5am lor..the rest have left at 4plus oni left ling,eddie and me..ling was kind of drunk and had told eddie abt the thing that she went through and eddie oni told her that this is life..i agree this is life man things happened beyond our control..she was lucky that she had found someone that she can relied on for the rest of her life le..while i am still searching...But i do believe when time comes it were come de...hehe...eddie is going to leave us kind of cant bear to see him leave..haiz..but watever we say also no use coz he had make up his decision le...think he got his own reason..no matter wat richard say also no use lor...he send ling hm first den me den himself that morning coz we stay at life till 5am lor..lolx..
Ytd me also kj..think for the rest of the time in life they are going to put me in kj liao..haha..anyway its also good coz i can relax..haha..just putting song its kind of wat i prefer rather than serving..I am so shocked when i noe that gillian had a daughter was married but she look so supper young lor...she is just 24th and she got 2 kids liao..omg..her husband send me hm ytd and was quite a nice person..Anyway ltr gotta attend wenya 18th bdae party at her hs..today die die also cant come hm late coz dad had been veri unhappy liao as i always come hm veri late for the previous nite...also not i wan ma..got to work somemore its new year le..where got pple stay at hm wan le...now must play hard tml sch reopen liao..den got no time to play liao lor...

Pls stop calling me...

2005-12-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

Haiz...my cousin give birth to a baby boy 2 days ago..really look like my cousin..hehe..my aunty so excited lor..at such a young age already become grandmother le...she so excited making me also so gan chiong...Stupid ian and stella keep asking me to tie my hair really irritates me lor...and keep asking me to get rid of my nail polish wat is wrong that if i am the host so i also need to get rid of my nail polish ma..so ex le i use 26 bucks to do medicure lor..then oni work 25 bucks ytd so bo hua lor..make me tie my hair and ytd i got to go and touch up and pay another 15bucks..really hate them lor..so many rules... its like shit 1 hr 5 bucks veri big meh..
When out with danniel and the rest ytd nite..suddenly felt that he was like my security guard..haha..somemore he is so tall standing beside me i just felt that he was my personal security guard..told me to took care of my own belonging,send me home straight to my house downstair and say that there is bad guy at my area..so sweet..haha..then kelvin told me not to drink too much..haha...felt that i have 2 good bro with me...still not that bad la...haha...

Tired!!

2005-12-28T12:17:00.000-08:00

Its 4.30am liao lor..y am i still like so alert le..working the whole day today still can stay till so late..recently my lifestyle is just working..cartel became my home liao la..hehe..tml if not going to meet danniel den think i can still slp later but he hor really so ma fan lor...beside changing christmas present with hengleng another 1 is him lor...coz still owe him a bdae present...
Sch reopen next week le..so sad to see the time table coz fri got to stay in sch till 8pm for that practical lesson..but i miss some of my classmate..its going to be another new year soon...Time really flies its going to be 2006 soon le...WaS wondering were there be another unhappy thing happen in our class this time coz every year there is a different thing happen..which was totally unexpected..
Was so disappointed when shimin told me all that coz this was all unexpected..till now she still like that keep doing her way and at the end she was the one who is hurt..as her frene i wanna help her but also don noe how to also...coz she nv wan to listen..so there is nothing i can do also..hehe...

y????????????????????

2005-12-20T16:33:00.000-08:00

Dont noe how come early in the morning he has spoilt my mood le..really is an idiot guy...How cum he is able to view my profile??Y still bother to see le??Got nothing to do with him anymore lor..lucikly i change all my profile think all he want to know is just my profile thingy ba..Finally get to see his gf whom i dont wish to see..but still i saw it le wat to do..or he purposely wan me to see it de..anyway a bit of sour feeling but think the urge to see and to know is no longer there anymore..thought that his gf would be veri pretty but no lor..haiz..forget it la..its in the past liao..sld have know that 1 of the day he were definately get to view my profile through other frene de..later going to enjoyed myself at malaysia le also cant remember which part of malaysia liao la..don wanna let this stupid thing spoilt my whole trip lor..

movie movie movie!!

2005-12-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

So long nv blog liao..coz too lazy la..hehe...this 2 weeks my schedule is just meeting frene, working and movie..haha...life is just simply too easy for me liao la...watch king kong with sis last week but didnt finished the whole show...hopefully can watch again another time lor...coz that day watch half way need to rush down to cartel haiz...waste money lor..somemore the show took 3hr sld have know that coz its lord of the ring director ma..haiz...
Then another day went to watch the promise with kelvin and denise..crazy lor both show i also watch it on the first day when it was out..so the ticket price is ex lor..addictional 1 bucks..
Ytd meet up with danniel then after that together we meet kelvin and hl for dinner at a japanese restaurant..forget the name of the restaurant le..hehe...den when to life with them oni danniel leave coz he need to go and meet his cousin..so i was there singing like crazy lor...haha...
Went down to cartel and look for yue yuan today den together we went to watched saw2..ps golden village don have the show so we went all the way to cine and look for it luckily there is one more showing at 9pm so we buy that ticket lor..in between the free time we walk hereen and taka lor..enjoying shopping and watching movie with her..she is such a cute gal..haha..looking for a small sling bag and finally let me found it at the end of the day when we finshed the show..haha..
Btw looking forward to wed can go m'sia with rachel lor..hehe..it has been so long i last went overseas lor...haha..anyway come back i still got a lotz of things to do le...rebond hair la, buy contact lens la, buy sunglasses la..think i like becoming more n more lian liao le..die liao la..y suddenly i became so hiao ar..haha..today somemore worst i went to do ear-piercing..forget how it feel le..coz the last time i do it was when i am veri veri young..but okie la..not as pain as yue yuan say..oni awhile the pain gone le..

Slacking the whole day!!

2005-12-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

Wake up from a terrible dreamz..And ever since that day this is the 1st time i dreamz of wat has happened..and its so irritating that i can have a good slp for the whole nite and i slept till this afternoon 12pm..can u imagine that i have slept for 12hrs..omg..so sickening..doing nothing the whole day and feeling so moody the whole day..really thanx a lotz kaili for chatting with me...and telling me ren shen da dao li..anyway i still enjoy it..haha..

Body ache!!

2005-12-05T17:54:00.000-08:00

Wat a sentosa outing on sunday..its fun but at the same time pain lor..whole body aching..somemore still got to work also don noe i can tahan annot..Ytd still put so little staff at work male me so busy like crazy..seriously speaking really got a lotz of pple came to cartel for interview..and heard that another outlet is coming up no wonder they still need staff..but hor ytd got a veri handsome guy came for interview haha..he is real cute lor..omg i started to be crazy again..

Idiot staff!!

2005-12-03T08:42:00.000-08:00

Hate mt alvernia st gabriel ward next time die i also wont go to that ward de..though even got problem also must be the patient nv thought that it would be the staff nurse there..during the whole 2 weeks of attachment they r making fun of hazel n me..treating us like srupid n idiot like that..we didnt say anything or wan to do anything..or i know is that wat they have done god knows it..And that farhana from now i really don feel like treating her as my frene coz she is so fate making pple scared of her..can u imagine that u got a bitch n devil person in ur class..After this posting i can seriously see her true colour..
Btw the bracklet that derek brought for me is torn so sad lor..coz seriously speaking i like it a lotz..not becoz he brought for me but its becoz i like the design..has been looking for it this few days when i walk pass assessory shop but didnt found it till today when xinhui was walking pass 77th street n looking for sthing so it also came across my mind that derek also like 77th street so decided to have a look n really i found it..but rushing time so i decided to buy it another time..
After whole day of thinking n though still feel that i prefer to remain as straight really oni like guy so no use deceiving myself..really veri sorie...if i am going to step into it think it would be difficult for me to get out of it..Think remaining as best frene is the best, isnt it?
And that eddie so last min then tell me all this really irritating lor..really idot le..y suddenly feel that so pple ard me is so sickening..really stupid la..haiz..anyway was really looking forward to tml sentosa trip..so happy..and btw that derek met with bike accident was so shocked to hear that le..but funny is that i don seem to be veri worried anyway think this is a lesson for him ba..think he should be fine ba since the doctor oni gave him 4 days MC..haha..After tml outing its really time for me to study my retest le..sian..

Wat a remedial!!

2005-11-28T19:56:00.000-08:00

Veri stupid ar..failed my bio den today gotta go back to sch for the remedial..hoping to get some tips...guess wat? Everything is the same as the last test..aiyo..got to study everything all over again..so sian le..those that i have memories that stupid day has all return back to the teacher liao le..now like nothing seem to have flesh into my mind..hehe..
On ya and btw now i can veri confirmed that my hp was steal by this particular person lor..how can my friend did this to me lor..if this is so dont think this person is my friend lor..somemore though that this person were change as she knows that pple are suspecting her who knows she stole other pple i-pod in another ward so unbelievable man..if this is a staff nurse style than i don think she got the rite to be a staff nurse lor..haiz..so dissappointing to hear all this..anyway confronting her also no use were she change no lor..so no use to confront is just to hurt myself..y like that le..pple who are rich tend to do this kind of stupid thing le..
Going back to swensen outlet tonite n find pf..luckily that sir joe not working if not i die also wont go back de lor..anyway also veri veri long time didnt see her le..but wat a stupid n irritating place to meet...

one week just past like that!

2005-11-27T08:33:00.000-08:00

One week just ended like that so meaningless like that..the most terrible day is on my exact bdae..the worst bdae i have ever spent..Totally a 360 degree change in me..when is everything going to end..actually y now is suppose to be le.. Really thanx god n my wonderful buddy for being there for me..
Btw everyday get to the ward the most happy thing is to see those cute little babies..can u imagine they are just 2 over kg oni..btw really gotta apologise to hazel..think this week really got her into trouble..Though those staff nurse is sucks but at the end of the day i really feel the fullfillment of being a nurse..Miss the kiss from little royden, miss the cries of little belle and miss my cute lucas really hope to c them outside 1 of the day.. Anyway still got 1 more weeks to go and its finally my yr end holiday le..but too bad i still got to take supp paper for my bio..so tired to study all over again..

thanx guys i really appreciate that all of u came down to celebrate my bdae with me..

2005-11-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

Thanx all my buddy..thanx for cuming down n spend this special day with me...i am veri surprised that actually got so many of your actually spend ya time to celebrate this day with me..I am veri sorie that i cried out when i open present..was really happy that i have received so many present, just suddenly miss of someone..though things had happened for quite some time le n had decided to put it down le n leave everything onto him but somehow or rather the memories were just flash back but i believe that time were heals...to me all the present are so precious..really like it a lotz...though had waited cg came down to cut cake with me and actually drag till quite late..but just felt that everything is so worth it..just in this cg for 2 mths but the friendship that we had was just like been years le.. Realli gotta thanx someone, danniel,he realli help me a lotz of things thanx for the acc as well.. hasnt been sleeping well n eating well for the passed few days in chalet n ended up vomitting n having nausea..worst of all i lost $50 y i so careless le..haiz..wat to do..oni to be careful next time lor..Thanx daddy for spending so much in this chalet for me..
Something which i can nv nv understand is that how come so many years le my sec frene still like that ar..they are my biggest grp but somehow i felt that they r small..is this human behaviour...
Was my first day to mt alvernia today..was really boring..the whole morning beside sister n lecturer orantating us the rest of the time we r just like stoning..sian ar...but infant there r really veri veri cute..so small they got jaundice le..really poor thing le..oni get to touch the baby but dont dare to carry them..think tml i must carry le..btw one of the staff nurse there really hate her stupid attitude lor, yaya papaya like that..didnt show any respect to other pple..gotta write objective n pass up tml but i hasnt started anything yet..not that i don wan to write but i got nothing to write at all..haiz..how how???? Btw this is the first year that i gotta spend my actual bdae at hospital..luckily i am on morning shift still can spend some time going out..hehe..hope that everything were be fine tml...Just got to say happy 19th bdae to myself n finally i am 19th'')

Thanx a lotz u reallu let me noe that u still care...

2005-11-13T19:02:00.000-08:00

After so many days of asthma,flu n cough i am already so tired like don noe wat le..then now came that thing really going to drive me crazy le..dont think can tahan today afternoon shift but cannot also must can lor..haiz..
Really hate waking up in the morning coz the feeling of losing someone is so so irritating n sad..but today though i wake up witht he same feeling but thanx a lotz guy that u really brighten up my day...really appreciate it n nv forget wat u have done for me...Really love ya so much'') i just felt that all this is worth it...

First week of posting has ended so meaningless!!

2005-11-11T07:20:00.000-08:00

This time posting i really really find it not challenging at all...its so meaningless..everyday just waiting time to pass...but met a veri interesting and cute old man..he is a Eurasian..a veri nice person whenever me n hazel is free we were go n chat with him de and the funniest part its that he always ask us to eat sour plum..hehe..oni i like it hazel hate it so much lor..so he ask hazel wat she like n hazel say chocolate he immediately ask his daughter to buy it..aiyo he so cute le..This is also the first time that we eat in front of the patient..so can u imagine how free are we??Just felt that we r there to stone..sian:) He even wanna invite us to his terrace house..omg..its terrace can u imagine..anyway he is quite rich..think i am a bit mountain tortise coz all my life nv been to a terrace house before..everytime c him pain i felt so helpless:( Think most probably he were be going hm le when we go back next week..but if he go hm i were be happy for him..were be praying for him..God bless him!!
Btw think our job this 2 days is to eat the fruits in the fridge..ytd watermelon n grape, today is pear n green apple...Got a wrong idea idea of the ITE student actually they are veri nice pple to talk with till today when its their last day then i realise that..too late liao lor..anyway were still be seeing them in the future ttsh...I am going to be damn busy this week end le..haiz..next week chalet but my schedule like that still gotta try my est to take sometime out n prepared the food anyway i got almost 60 frene!!So happy maybe it were be a bit cramp..hope that its not lor...

i am sick!

2005-11-09T04:10:00.000-08:00

Just the 3rd day of posting i am already so sick le how to carry on lor..aiyo..having flu,cough n asthma at the same time i really veri tired somemore cannot anyhow eat den don really have the appetite also..miss the conference today veri sad..don noe tml can go for work annot but hope that i can so sad i don have to replace back n don wan to left hazel alone at the ward..see how tonite ba... Had a great dinner ytd with dad n aunty..sometime i am just grad that dad has finally found his someone i don have to worry at dad again coz there is someone who take real good care of him..Though don really have the feeling that she is my step mother but still i am happy for my dad... I am really touch that my maid cook porrigde for me..nobody is at hm suddenly just felt so lonely..haiz...

2nd day at ttsh...

2005-11-08T00:13:00.000-08:00

Ytd not feeling well..had a veri bad sore throat and flu almost dying..but still veri stubborn don wanna see doctor..c tml how ba..den somemore the lecturer force me to go see doctor lor..haiz..luckily i didnt go..hehe..but now my voice is slowly getting worst le..
Lost my ezlink card last week near grandma house so sickening so today den went back to sch student affair and ask for lost and found and indeed got no news lor..so sad wait for another week and see how ba if not got to go n make a new one le..gotta waste money again:( Tonite were be going out for dinner with daddy n her..but nvm still got to see her wan ma in the future..so y not start now...

Happy bdae eve!!

2005-11-05T18:41:00.000-08:00

Went to eve bdae chalet ytd after svc..met kira outside at the entrance den saw derek n kelvin chua but think they r oni there to fetch kira de ba...lolx..anyway i also don feel anything le..everything has been the past le..just felt that i shouldnt have been there coz somehow i felt that i was so far from them no common topic n most of the pple i don noe them..but still okie i am veri open de so can easily make frene..just went for the chalet awhile den after that went to the beach with kelvin, pei xuan, janice,ian,zhang wei and kira..thought that it were be a nice strolled but no lor kana bit by don noe wat thing and somemore so hot..And really grad that kelvin has found someone that he like...Shall write till here...

i have fully make use of the days...

2005-11-04T11:58:00.000-08:00

I seriously have fully make use of the time for the past few days like owl slp in the day n play in the nite..hehe..wed met up with kira to buy eve present after that went to c mummy then went to work..after worked went to watched flightplan with sis at cine..saw kris at cine it has een don noe how many thousand years since i last saw him le..hehe...den we ton at orchard at till morning at swensen coz beside there really got no place to go le..hehe..and there reminds me of the time me n my swensen colleague spent our nite at swensen crown prince that place was just full of memories..chat with sis the whole nite but still she don seem to understand so forget it i also don wanna talk much..
Ytd meet kelvin kong,kelvin lim,hengling,ivan and my sis to sing kbox at cine..again cine..a bit carzy la 2 days also go there and its not even 24 hr we r there again..kelvin kong leave at 12plus, kelvin lim n hengling leave at 1 plus..left me.sis n ivan sing till close..sing until i also wanna slp liao...hehe..today worked till 12am and went back together with eric..but i really started to know a lotz of things ever since i worked there maybe just for experience ba also didnt intend to stay long...btw i think i am going to die veri soon coz i was holding 3 jobs at one go..so pple who want to book me must tell me real earlier before hand..hehe...now its 4am le i must really go n slp le..Shall write again!!

finally test finished!!~

2005-10-31T06:18:00.000-08:00

Cant imagine wat has happened ytd nite anyway all has been the passed le n i really decided not to have anything to do with him le..Those harsh words seriously hurt me veri deep but sooner or later i noe that i am able to get over it n really hope that i can do that...Not even the injection i don even wan to go..its so sickening it were just let me remind of u so i would rather not to have n very sorie frene that i am always so stubborn but i still want to do it my way..Today to me everything is new again..wake up veri early n has been studying since 5.30am cant elieve that i can tahan till now..omg..after test acc denise to my hs and help her make brownies and this is the first time i bake brownies still not bad..haha..ard 6.30pm kelvin reached my hs den now we r taking photo like nv before...and this is also the first time that i got frene went over to ah ma hs and eat..btw my maid did a veri good jo today by cooking good food for us..hehe...oh ya...danniel leave singapore ytd mid nite quite sad le n think this is the first time he take plane lor..he were be back on the 16th..really appreciate that he speak to me last nite though he was in the airport already prepare to check in le...really thanks...miss ya!!

Bio test tml...Stress!!

2005-10-30T03:45:00.000-08:00

Now at denise hs studying..now my brain is full of bio thingy...n there is still so many to go cant slp tonite liao..pls tell me wat to do..haiyo..and all those info that lalitha gave us is not rite lor..alamah n we got to sort things out again...Btw ate a lotz of potato chips die liao lor...Stress!!!

things is different..

2005-10-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

Just wanna thank all my buddy..thanx for chatting with me ytd nite..though really in a damn low spirit but i noe that u guys are still there for me.. Danniel thanks for making the effort to come down but the rain was really damn heavy ytd nite..anyway i really appreciate it..but i somehow feel much more beta now.. And gal if u really wanna give me one tight slap just go ahead..i wont blame u or wat de...Maybe its wrong to say all that but seriously all is from the botom of my heart...Can we just let time to prove everything..I am tired le really tired..things doesnt seem to come to an end..And still gotta adapt to the new environment tonite..also dont noe it suit me annot..

In my heart i will always be happy for u..

2005-10-27T02:34:00.000-07:00

Thought i would be happy to see that but realise that i am not..thought that it wont happened and nv though that this day would come but still i got to except the facts.. Anyway i have put myself into her shoes how difficult it is to last a feeling for 3 years..What i can say is that there is nothing i can compared myself with...Life still got to go on...isnt it?
Finally finished one paper today thought that it would be hard but still its quite okie except for the last qn totally i don know how to ans..haiz..After test met jeremy n kai li for lunch..went to a veri special cafe the food there is nice n cheap next time should bring my sis there...

2005-10-25T00:08:00.000-07:00

smile!!

2005-10-25T00:05:00.000-07:00

Best frene in class

2005-10-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

me,wanjun and ting

2005-10-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

In cafe cartel cinelesure on fongyin bdae!

2005-10-24T23:58:00.000-07:00

secondary sch friends

Pls think abt it!!

2005-10-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

Let us just use this one week n think abt it ba..We r both tired le.. Really hope that u were go for it.. Though i can never find ans from u but the ans is already on your face...I know that this decision is very selfish but that is the oni way..Currently oni wish to concentrate on my study..

i have took out the courage to c doctor...

2005-10-21T00:08:00.000-07:00

This all happened is it becoz of u? I really don noe..things seem to be getting more complicated.. i also started to think a lotz of things liao la..how??Somemore the day before i know something that makes me veri disapppointed..how cld my sister did this thing is it that she stress? or is it influence?? I really don noe how to talk to her i also don noe wat kind of sister am i.. My dad also cant know anything their relationship is already so jiat lia already i cannot tell him lor...wat am i supposed to do?
I wanna quit cartel but i she bu de..so currently i just stop working for a few months n see whether things were settle annot... Going for interview with cindy ltr... the worst thing is that i haven started my study its already so late le next week test le...haiz..

Do u think i wanna make u feel this way?

2005-10-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

Forget wat i have say ba..just treat that nothing has happened.. nv thought that u would react in this way..u r scared do u think that i am calm?? Do u think i wanna bring it up? No matter wat i noe that its worth it..always think of the positive side dont think its that bad how come it were affect u so much anyway its just all my own problem.. U don have to ask y its my decision..I blame myself y always say something that i shouldnt have say y say something that always make u feel this way...
Oni got one lesson today so stupid all the way go to schjust for that lesson somemore is c others presentation..haiz..i really don feel like working anymore somemore always make the manager so trouble i am tired of that job le finally tired le..

Unexpected!!

2005-10-17T23:44:00.000-07:00

Everything ended just like the korean type of tv drama so unexpected... But from u i have come to realise that in this world there is still something living for, life is so precious..if ytd i dont force ya to come out think u r nv going to tell me the truth..No matter wat is going to happened i still choose to stay by ur side even just as a frene..i promised that i were find someone worth for me n were take care of myself but before that i just wanna take care of ya first...Everything just soound so unbelievable..Straight from your eyes i can see that u have nv lie to me...All the pain that u have is 10x pain in me... I am not going to leave you even though i have found that someone..Thanx for giving me the chance to be there for u..Wat i have promised i were definately do it de i were went back to the usual jessie that pple use to know:) There is one thing i noe that is with u ard i am not going to be afraid of anything...Thanx for teaching me the skill but i don wanna learn coz i wan u to be ard with me...
Today really veri slack till i don noe wat to say..got 3 hr break no time le i am going for lesson le shall blog again...

cant imagine wat were happened...

2005-10-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

I really didnt want things to become like that de..u force me to do it in front of my class mates do u think i were feel beta if i did that to u? U r wrong this things is always going to be in me all my life there is no way that i can get over it.. A hundred million sorry also cant cure the pain in me.. Doing this is just to let u know that i am not for granted don treat me like stupid.. The whole morning has been thinking abt it really veri fan but hope that after 2nite everything is back to usual.. Since u dare to come then i were dare to slap..
Came to sch in the morning to do my presentation thingy no mood le just anyhow do complete it can liao..really veri sian ..1 more hour to my lesson...Wat a waste of money to photocopy transparency..

i just miss u!!

2005-10-14T22:53:00.000-07:00

Did i say something wrong that make u angry or are u stress with work? All i want to know is that how r u? Wat happened to u? U may not know that u are hurting me but i know that u definately got a reason for doing it...
We do end up quarelling sometimes
but when i sit down i were think abt it n tears were just roll down
i ask myself y
because i love u
because i cares abt u
because i treasure u

Everyday before i slp i were think of u
when i slp i were dreamz of u
when u r not ard i were miss u

No matter how hard n tough life is going to be
i just know that with u ard i were be xin fu
with u ard there is nothing i were be afraid of
with u ard i were learn to be strong

U are the one who rings me to a different girl
U are the one who let me knows a lotz of things
All i know is that u r the one i am finding

Stay over at joyce house ytd, we have chat a lotz and it has been such a long long time since we sit down n caht together le.. And through our conversation i can feel that our view towards relationship is so different..anyway this is girls talk n something seem to be rubbish...anyway i enjoy myself staying over at her house...

y so much different??

2005-10-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

I really don understand really really don understand y just 1 week n there is so much different..wat happened to u?? Or wat happened to me?did i say something wrong?? U treat me like this..really is torture me lor do u noe how terrible it is annot?? Wat is the different of breaking up le..doesnt make any different lor... I am sick n tired... How am i going to complete this semester??can u tell me?

Really i did not regret...

2005-10-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

After chatting the whole nite with ya i really found that i didnt trust the wrong person..U r really worth it really.. Maybe things were be different if u told me in the past but past has been the past le n wat is going to happened is gotta be the future...Really thanx for sharing so much things with me..If a guy were shy think still not a bad person..
Earlier in the afternoon i totally got no mood to work becoz of wat u say but i noe that u didnt mean it..Though its gone but i still wanna give it a try..don ask me y coz i also don noe y... Sis n her frene saw us ytd a bit funny n my sis was damn kua zhang but nvm i know that u didnt take it too heart de..This is the first time that i can tell a guy so many things from my heart lor..At least i know that u care when u came all the way down..Sometime i just ask myself am i asking too much? After that conference with denise n kelvin till 1 plus..
Today think i was totally veri blur i went for lecture without scanning my landyard..halfway through the lesson than i realise that..omg...then somemore worst of all i gotta go n take MC coz i didnt do my individual thing..which is damn sad lor..now even get mc also don noe still can present annot..if not than failed lor..haiz..i thought that i am supposed to present it next week who knows..sickening lor somemore got to waste money also don noe its worth it annot.. And sick enough today still got lesson at 6pm aiyo..irritating lor then tml got psychology test..tonite definately gotta burn midnite oil le...Sian...

Things is just beyond our own ctrl..

2005-10-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

I am sorie guys its has been real long ever since i last blog... Com kana virus for the pass 1 week then somemore got case study to do n presentation work..Attachment is okie not veri tired compared to the last posting coz i am in the air-con ward.. somehow i tortured myself working at cartel after attachment..I also don noe y le..Maybe i just tried to avoid something..
For the past 2 weeks i have heard a lotz different pple say diff things but the most importantly its still how i think how i felt.. I cant denial that i got a bit of feeling for him..but wat can i do rite.. Things become so complicated that i wanna give up but i noe that i cant coz there r still so many things waiting for me to do... Its true that wat has happened is already happened but the problem lies with me that i don wanna fan qi.. Noe that u guys were definately scold me at the same time i noe that ur r showing care n concern seriously speaking this wasnt the care n concern that i wan to hear.. i know that i am bad but ur really doesnt know how i feel wat i wan n it really irritates me... I feel much more better after talking to cassey ytd n found that she was the oni gal that understand me noe how i feel..i am already so stress up do u think i wan all this things to happened..i just felt that ur call gave me a pressure that i don wanna pick up..i am really sorie to say that but this is really how i feel after the whole inccident.. Don noe y just a 2 weeks attachment but i seem to make a lotz of unneccessary trouble to u guys... Really sorie but at the same time thanx for being there for me all this while..
Lecturer give me so much stress that i somehow feel that i don fit to be a staff nurse..sis n dad till now still the same..she still don willing to talk to dad n i really don noe wat she wants n wat she think..wat i supposed to say i have already say le but she still don seem to understand..y le??

Finally get to blog le...

2005-09-22T01:47:00.000-07:00

I am sorie frene..my house com got some problem so till now then blog...now its 5pm le i am still in sch..sian..still got one more elective presentation to go which is tml..haiz somemore gotta wear formal..i cant imagine wat roger were look like..hehe..I really didnt contribute much le this few day working till almost cannot make it le...too tired le every morning i miss my lecture..i have adjust my alarm clock but don noe y i still get back to slp when ever the clock rings this is the first time in my like i am like that..
Think i still prefer to be host..doing cashier is too stressful for me le..somemore that day still kana a alotz of complaint haiz..i don even noe y also..i did smile maybe some customer veri sickening then i give that type of sickening face that make them to complaint me..That day stupid tung almost make me cried but for the customer i kept my tears..so sad lor it wasnt my fault also don noe y he throw the books n paper into the dustbin..me cashiering always veri slow de ma...i also don wan ma...hate nite cashier lor..i still prefer morning cashier..sometime i was wondering when can i be like yue yuan like that to deal with customer so fast..
My cousin was admitted in KKH for dengue fever somemore she was pregnant..haiz..but thank god she was discharged today le think she sld be fine liao ba..y so many pple ard me get dengue le...
Has been waiting for my sis to tell me something coz i know that something was bothering her..drink so much beer also no use de..just don understand y u think that way is it the best way to solve the problem?? Do u think in this developed country u can go anywhere without a cert? Dad n me was so heart pain when we know this..maybe u are still young to understand..I am sorie to coz so many trouble to my frene coz i have not been going for lecture this few days n need ur to help me write attendent...Hope that everything is going to be solve by 2nite..whether u wanna listen annot this is life n this is the facts..just wan u to understand...
Just heard from cassey that mdm jin foong is pregnant le..the most surprisingly is that mary is also pregnant le n is going to give birth by this few weeks le..time flies everybody has change le..almost one year didnt saw her n now she is going to be a mummy soon le..i am so happy for her..miss those day that i work with her... True enough that this is life everyone got to grow...

its 3am nw...

2005-09-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

Omg..i cant imagine that its 3 am nw lor..n i am still struggling with my bio book..really need a break le..my brain almost cannot make it le..Has been staying at hm for the whole day just to revise my bio text so got nothing much to say..the oni thing that i wan to say is that i really feel uncomfortable with that photo on the mirror table..just don understand i don even noe her well oni get to c her once n u just put her photo there..sis really don like that photo frame..now i noe y dad doesnt wan sis to know at it le..coz she was really still young to understand somehow her reaction just now was real childish..haiz..Anyway hope that i can do well in my bio test tml with bao lei tips if not i really can gnd lor..i think i beta go n get a nap first before 4am if not i gotto wake up at 9am got no time to study lor..

aiyo stupic com lor...

2005-09-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

haiz..don feel like typing anymore longer le...just now type so long then suddenly com disconnect..shall make it short lor..has brought a mp3 ytd acc by my sis....
this morning meet camay at city link ctrl station..she was late by 45min that was real long but i found that time goes quite fast while waiting for her don noe y also..hehe..she also veri cute wan lor all the way go down to city hall n get a pair of sandal for her dragon oat practice..after that we shop for awhile then also shun bian brought wan jun bdae present which i share with pc..after that meet pc n wanjun at orchard mrt n pass wanjun n pc their dae present..i just felt like a sante clause today...then also at the same time took the goody bag from her which i got to gave to hazel..after that went down to DG n meet jeremy n raymond den went to ting bahru n met another 2 frene( Rico n Kelvin)..n seriously speaking i am so sick of kelvin this name...y got so many pple call kelvin de..currently i already noe 6 frene call kelvin le..aiyo..after svc went down to ps n meet hazel for dinner but don really feel like eating coz my stomach was feeling veri weird the whole day..Btw i finally brought the cross cd le..love it so much then somehow i miss pastor sun when listening to the cd...

This is the first time that i have ever blog so early...

2005-09-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

Its 6.30am now lor...just came back from mac with my sis..have been studying the whole nite at mac..actually wanna study till 2 plus like that de but got to draw a poster for my presentation on fri so i finished everything then go down with my sis...luckily i passed my landyard to mei neng n scan for me le if not i will die lor..at least i can slp for awhile ltr before going for grp meeting in sch...ytd grp meeting really brighten up my day..i almost did something that i shouldnt have done but after the funny role play that we reherse i feel much much more beta le..lili is really my kai xin guo lor..hehe..anyway thanx a lot...
Dad has told sis everything le n i don have to hide it from her anymore..we have been chatting for quite sometime n this is the first time that i see her so sad too...she was sad coz another reason not the same as me but now i noe that y she don wanna study...Hiaz..we r just too sad to say anything else n dad came hm n just went into his room n slp like don even bother to ask..who cares i am really tired le...
[Sis: No matter wat is your decision n wat u wan to do i will always behind u..Don think that u have let anyone down..u study is becoz of ur own future n not study for other pple..Work hard k..Anything just chat with me although i am not good at giving advice but i am a good listener..hehe...all the best to ya 'O' level...]

Until today i den belief that to u i really mean nothing...really nothing...

2005-09-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

If not that photo that i have seen just now i really cannot fan qia..but think i sld le..coz compare to her i really fail le..n maybe all this while i am just a replacement n maybe i am just nothing to u...The ans that i have always been waiting for i noe its nv going to come...but as a bro or as a frene u have already done ur part le...For wat i have see she still love u..No matter wat decision u r going to make i still respect ur decision...n from now onwards just treat that we have nv known before this is the oni thing that i can do..u may think that i am selfish but i really don wan to snatch other pple thing that doesnt belongs to me in the first place...Thats y i choose to give up...
I failed my intermittent suctioning n gotta retake it next week..though i got to retake again but this time round i am not anxious anymore coz i have passed my NGT insertion n noe wat i am supposed to do for the suctioning...for us we really met bad assessor ytd coz 6 of us went in n 4 of us failed while the other class all of them went in and all passed..but i just felt that i deserve to be failed coz i really don noe how to function the intermittent suctioning..n the part time lecturer was actually veri good to stand there n teach me how to do...Today if i am not wrong all went in and all passed from our class...But galz i am really sorie to cry so badly in front of ur when ur r going to be assess i just cant control myself after talking to denise...I am really sorie...But really happy that u guyz r always there for me no matter wat happened...i am veri emotional if ur see me cry again can just hack care me..Somehow suddenly though of wat camay say this afternoon...i can oni say that i really scared but who wants to be like this...Thanx..shall write till here...

No matter wat is going to happened in the future i still got to exccept the facts..coz i choose to believe my dad...

2005-09-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Another finger nail was torn again lor..becoz of doing cashier..haiz..now i really got no more finger nail to click the micro le...n today the settlement was short of $0.40 lor n i top up $0.50 so the $0.10 was given as tips a bit quite stupid rite..
Went to Aloha changi chalet straight after work just now..n this was meiyan company de chalet..this is the first time that i went there always wanted to go to OCH n today finally i got the chance to go le...i am so excited when one of the guy ask whether wanna go to changi hospital n have a look n straight away i know that its OCH..always i ask my frene to go but none of them wanna go lor n say that i crazy..didnt really explore n get inside to see how it is coz just now is oni 5plus n oni foue of us went there n i just curious wanna see how the hospital looks like coz heard many pple say story abt that place...N indeed that place is damn erriee that i don noe how to explain from the long staircase it already shows that the place is haunted n omg inside was totally darkness although it was a bright day outside...i was scared n at the same time i was curious n in my mind i was wondering how it looks like 20-30 yrs ago when the hospital was still functioning..according to dad that place use to be a military hospital..n that chalet infront of it i somehow cannot figure out y got pple wanna book that place lor...n heard that the F block is a haunted room also..so basically the whole place is haunted think i sld try to stay one nite n really experience was is it like...haha think i really crazy le..haven got the chance to go in to all the blocks in the hospital hope that when jeff they all wanna go they were call me lo..
Dad came down to fetch me coz he send frene to changi airport n it was quite concident when i called him he was ard that area...I choose to face that person coz i know that one of the day in the future i still got to face her..i just concentrate to talk to dad n tell him wat happened in the chalet n pretend that nothing has happened..i just felt veri comfortable when i got to call her till i was veri close to her like that...lucky thing is that kelvin called me n was chatting with him all along on the journey..anyway send her off at clementi n went hm... N thanx jeremy for praying for me actually i also don noe y i just cried out all of a sudden...anyway thanx a lotz...Tml is my assessment test..veri stress wat to do?? Just pray hard that wat i learn were come out if not ar i really don noe how liao...

its just fear...

2005-09-10T08:03:00.000-07:00

Luckily jeremy called me this morning if not i don noe wat time i am going to wake up lor...Meet some of my current cg member ( Jonathan,jeremy,raymond, Enoch, Karen, kaili n Tony) for lunch at JP de pizza place...the pizza is still not bad lor.. overall the outing is still quite fun still get to learn a game called black n white magic which i don think is how rachel n hazel play in the ward le...haiz...After the lunch me n kaili went to shop for awhile den karen,tony,jeremy n raymond choose to go arcade n play...i don like to go arcade n play n this afternoon when i step in there it just reminds me of someone..thats y i choose to leave...
The svc today was great n really fantastic..so long didnt c pastor kong le finally today get to c him again...though i am tired n was somehow quite sad n have cried till veri tired le..but i still enjoy the svc...N no one else loves me more than god love me...i was really veri touch...n really wan to thanks kaili after that cried i really felt much more beta le...actually beside that there is something that has been boring me but i just find it hard to say it out don noe y...but really thanx a lotz for being there for me...n as for my bro jeremy don worry i am not angry that u r late its just that i am tired...n pls don let me wait so long the next time le if not i were just walk off de lor...lolx...Seriously speaking i am veri honour to know u guyz as my cg member...don worry my buddy no matter wat i were try my best to put the pass behind de...And today is the first time that i took dinner at 10pm lor n all thanx to jeremy...

Eat so many today lor...die liao la...

2005-09-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

Slept at 2 plus ytd then wake up at 9am really cannot make it lor..was still veri sleepy..veri sickening didnt manage to open the folder that lili has send to my briefcase really idiot lor wat has happened to my com??or iszzit the yahoo problem?? Electives lesson was damn boring till i knock off in lecture..aiyo don noe wat the lecture is talking lor...the last one hour me n siqiao went to slp at the benches outside lecture hall...coz both of us really cannot tahan le...after that me n roger went to lab n practice our clinical skills..really veri scared my assessment next mon lor..die liao la got a feeling that i will retake the test..haiz...i always don have confident de...we end the practice at 5.15 like that den after that went to bugis with viki,rachel,hazel,lilin n chunyi..n when i was abt to leave bugis for tampines mall with hazel n meet her godsis..viki told us that her mum called her n say that today a head was found in a bag at orchard..den all of us was like so shocked..her mum called her not to hang out too late so i was wondering whether my dad were call me but no le..so sad...in order to comfirm i msg edwin n it was true lor..in the mrt me n hazel was like got a veri weird feeling don noe y..quite surprised n unbelieveable that such things were happened twice in 3 mths...really veri sad to heard that..
Met ginny with hazel we went to shop shop for awhile den went to S11 coffee shop to eat something which ginny say the noodles veri nice n told us to try but before that we have eaten fish n chips at v8 le till now the food still in my stomach haven digest lor..haiz...Ginny was so funny le make me laugh none stop..by the way she talk i really cant believe that she was a mother...really cute n have really enjoyed my nite with u galz..thank although somebody has put aeroplanes on me lor..always like that de lor since the veri first time we meet..sian liao..already get used to it le...haiz....

Everything just happened so suddenly...

2005-09-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

Dad took off today...So went to have breakfast with him this morning then we sit down for an hour plus chatting with me..n tell me everything that has happened ten years ago..it was really surprising for me n i almost couldnt believe that this is the facts..everything just happened so suddenly...but all this oni me n my dad noe it nobody in the family knows abt it including my sis...i am just respecting my dad decision...when its time i shall let her know...When to sch today but wasnt in the mood to study at all...even for lecture i just stay outside the lecture hall...i cant concentrate at all...but i know that all this tooks time somemore i am going to have exam this fews weeks so really got to buck up shouldnt have let all this things affected me...But at least i know that i got a lotz of friends by my side helping me through this critical time...and really thanx for hazel msg n the msg touch me n make me cried n the song jian jian dan dan shall nv forget it...Whether its friends in christ or non believer to me all of u are equal..i treat everyone the same...Thanks for praying for me n i really feel much more better talking to u guys...
Btw thanks guy for calling at such late hour though u r busy with a lotz of report really sorie to trouble ya...anyway i am much more beta le..thanx n i will try not to think so much lor..n all of this takes time...n time can prove a lot of things...Talking to u or to him has really brighten up my days..Thanx...Love u guyz....Shall write again n now gotta study lor...Die liao lor..like nv going to finish like that ...

Hope that everything is going to be fine...

2005-09-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

I am really scared i don noe y??just felt that things wasnt rite after the 6 misery call...i ans the first call at 5 plus n when i ans the person put down the phone le..so i assumed that maybe someone has called the wrong no...but abt 1/2 an hr ltr i received a call a gain this time i heard someone talking but the voice was damn soft so i ask the person to speak louder but she just hang up the phone..just now after work then found out that i got 4 miss called from the same place..i didnt tot that it was a harass phone but instead i felt that something must be wrong even sthing has happened it would be too late le...I am sorie that whenever i got problem i just wanna approached u..really sorie hope that i didnt coz any trouble to u and thanx for helping me..really thanx a lotz guy...I really hope that i can be stronger but as seen from wat is happening recently i just felt that i am really weak to handle anything...u r always the first one whom i talk to maybe my dad wasnt ard so just felt like talking to u or maybe u r police??Thanks for hearing wat i say even though u r in camp...
Today i really find that stella was a veri veri good manager..really...wasnt in a good mood to work today as the DR is rico coz he always talk rubbish on the walkie talkie..just hope that 1 day he can shut his mouth up lor...but stella kept asking me whether i am alrite annot n she tot that i was still sad abt the complaint ytd but actually i did not...but she was really nice...i am happy that i actually met a bunch of darling who r fun to work wif...
Shall write till here..tml start sch again veri sian lor somemore lesson end at 8pm..haiz...

I enjoyed the svc....

2005-09-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

Working for almost a year in cartel..this is the first time that i kana being complaint by customer..i noe that i was in the wrong too...but they r just too much le...insisted that i don allowed them to have that table 38 lor..but i didnt i just say that that table is reserve for a bigger grp nothing liao..wat is wrong with that customer lor...i really felt like giving him a slap lor if i wasnt in cartel...
After work went down to chu8rch for scv3..n the svc was great n i mean really great..don noe y i just cried n cried n cried...its the disappointment, the friendship that i don treasure the relationship that i sld not have start in the first place...Today svc has make me realise a lot of things...Its time for me to put down everything le n sld concentrate on wat i am supposed to do...Though its just one mth but i really find that i have make a bunch of nice guys..really...Smoking n vugarity its wat i have seen n heard for the passed one mth...maybe i just wanted to be protected n from u i really feel the care n concern but i noe it shouldnt have continued...N really nv regreted knowing u guys as my friends... i am a person who na de qi fan de qia de...hope that its going to be a short term hurting...I always console siqiao hope that wat i told her were be able to applied on me...Wat has been the passed just let it passed ba no point thinking abt it...
[Brother: Thanks for acc me to svc 3 just now, i really enjoy the svc..really...n thanx for hearing me say so many fei hua..hehe...I noe that starting going to this cell grp were be a bit weird but sooner or later i noe i can get used to it de...]

THe oni off day this week....

2005-09-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today is the oni off day i got this week lor...And i have usefully used it..hehe..early in the morning meet siqiao n hazel to sing klunch..we sing until 2pm den suddenly the waiter came in n ask whether wan to extend another hour by additional of 2 drink but we don wan den he came in awhile ltr n say that he were count us cheaper of buying one more drink n we were be able to extend another hour see him so poor thing so just do him a favour we brought a drink n sang till 3pm...but we extended ourselves to 3.30pm den leave kbox...hehe...First met such a waiter lor...
After that me n hazel went to taka Mos burger n study n siqiao leave for sch to have grp meeting...meanwhile studying in MOs joyce also came to pass me pc n wj bdae present..xinhui n soo li is there too lor y don wan to meet me le??Don understand le...haiz...After that ard 6.30pm went down to PS meet shimin n wan jun..n the meal was treat by shimin lor..n it cost her $50 plus really pai seh...next time then treat her oh no its him...hehe...From the dinner than i noe that cartel is so complicated i cannot except the facts that almost everyone of them is not straight...haiz..how can it be...Looks like i am the oni one who r straight le among the "girls"...Dad was afraid that i might be influence but i noe that i wont anyway they are all veri nice pple i shouldnt becoz of this n leave cartel...Long time nv like today like that sit down n chat with wan jun le really everyone after going in poly r all busy with their own thing its so so so difficult to meet out lor...

do i need money so much??

2005-09-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

Did i make the rite decision??I really don noe...really... After reading magazine n my friends blog felt that its really like that de lor...wat do do...
Working n working...Sometime i really think do i really need that amt of money??But sometime just wanna help the manager coz they really veri poor thing le...i don like to be host lor...i like to be on the floor with my buddy n help them with sending food n clearing plate i don want just stand there when no pple still gotta tell them to do things...really hate it lor...that stupid irene die die also wan me to after the floor when there isnt anyone lor...
Was on my own on cashier this whole afternoon n was damn busy that i don even have the time to drink one sip of water...customer keep coming n coming...till i cannot tahan...by the end of the day i don have any excess money or any money less..hehe...lucky le if not i die lor...till now oni the first day i gotta pay $o.60 ..hehe...den ytd excess $10.10 lor don even noe where the money came from...Though i really damn hate the chef in the kitchen but now felt that they r also veri easy going person except 1 which is damn irritating...make my day worst oni lor...like today i almost give the chef a big tight slap...But i really learn something i don wan to coz any trouble that i once made in swensen before...Though it has been so long but its going to be in me in my whole life nv am i going to forget it even the feeling is not there le...But this is the longest that i have last...Btw before i end my blog wanna wish all my dearest teacher a happy teacher day!!

I have say wat i wan to say le...

2005-08-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

I have say wat i wan to say le isnt it your turn to say something??Know that u have been troublt by a lotz of things recently..so i wont blame u meaning everything need to take sometime... I am strong enough to take anything n i mean it... Just a msg has already let me make up my mind... I wan to let go but i cant don noe y...mayb in me just long for an ans from u...Suddenly felt that u mean a lot to me...
Cashier training today by yue yuan but she is more concentrate with the sandwiches area n can say that i was fully incharge of the cashier...luckily today nv lose n nv has excess money..ytd pay $0.60 liao lor...Overall i still prefer cashier than host...Alicia nv come to work today so biling take over cashier but i am supposed to end work at 4pm and hand over to the nite cashier but change to biling den she also going to break at 4pm so ended up i got to extend for an hour wait till 5pm than can hand over to her..by the time i finished everything its already 5.30pm le..den help stella to take 6 packet of milo mixed to bishan cafe cartel..den went to eat bishan swensen ice cream with sis after that went to shaw tower to watched RED EYE..it was a veri nice n short show...Reached hm chat with him then danniel..he is always busy with games n i am always busy w work..The most sickening thing is that i gotta cancel tml ktv session again coz oni me,eve n kelvin can make it..sian...

Tired!!

2005-08-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

There is just one word to describe me now..n that is tired..really tired lor...from 11.30am to 11.30 pm can die le..i also vomit when i am going to finish my work suddenly feel veri dizzy...But its really fun learning cashier though i am slow but as least i still learn something..somemore today jacythia is the cashier but she didnt come so the manager took over n trained me...to me it wasnt veri difficult coz i have being in cashier before in swensen last time so its quite okie 4 me... hand over cashier to Ian at 4.45pm den i went to have break den after that be host again lor..sian liao la..somemore i didnt even bother to write anything on the host board lor...close bread station again its the slowest thing that i have ever done in cartel lor..hate closing bread station but no choice oni left me..somemore kelvin n amanda took MC today den Randall till 6.45pm like that den called cartel that he is not going to work today den R2 oni left with hazel n another new staff called Ivy de...So poor thing le...By the time i close finished bread station is already 11.20 le..quickly punch card n rushed to the mrt...This is how i spent my day..Cartel has already become my 2nd home liao lor...hehe

Happy 19th bdae!!

2005-08-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

[ To Ed: Happy 19th bdae!!] Don be sad la everyday also sad bdae liao le...
Die liao lor...nv did i tot that this thing were happened since i work in cartel coz it nv cross across my mind lor...
Wake up at 6.55am this morning if i am not wrong lor..slept at 3am ytd nv think of wanna wake up so early..but don noe y this morning got an urge like someone calling u to wake up...so i wake up lor..n meet kaili 7.30am at boon keng mrt but she was late for 1/2 an hr..btw gal its okie de i get used to waiting for pple le even guys lor...hehe..don feel bad being late but its me who feel bad to coz u wake up so early in the morning...But i noe that everything is worth it...i get back to my first love again le..the feeling is so great..really thanx ya my dear sister... after svc quickly rush down to cartel n oni get to reached there at 12.30pm n i was late liao lor..but no one called me..anyway it wasnt veri busy when i reached there its oni till 1 plus then the crowd start to come...but not enough R2 n randall is the oni R2 so stella ask me to help out also if got no queue..den don noe i not enough slp or too blur went to collect plate that customer are still eating den die liao lor..gotta pay him back one more plate of chicken n mushroom macaroni but he don wan n choose to have dessert so gotta replace him wif a kangaroo baked apple n stella was veri angry..haiz..this si the first time that i did something so wrong lor...feel so sad cant smile at all in front of customer just feel like chasing them away...then give nicolli say also but after that nothing le...hehe...I have passed my day just like that in cartel...Tml is another day to go...Sian...

oh u r really cute...

2005-08-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

Went to give gwen our police report after class this afternoon..den went for electives for an hour oni coz veri veri boring till i want to slp le..then ask jean to help me sign attendents...Went to meet him at woodland..passed him present den went 4 a short walk with him n the other guy don noe call wat name le...den went down to work after that..today is the longest queue that i have ever seen since the veri first day i work as host lor...realli busy till can die ar..then hate nicolli like that say pple de..haiz..she somehow sometime good sometime bad..sian... Randell finished work at 10pm lor den suddenly while i was folding cutlery he called cartel n ask me to help him take water bottle n meet him at the mrt station after my work...He really look cute n to me is damn cute..but its just like my younger brother...

y am i telling u this lied??

2005-08-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

I am sorie i shouldnt have say that but its too late coz i have say liao..haiz..
For the this semester this is the first time i am late for lesson lor...sian..slept at 3.30am ytd, tot that i have already ajust my alarm clock le..don no that its i press it le den go n slp or it nv ring lor but most probably is that i pressed le den go n slp ba...hehe...at 8am suddenly like heard my phone ring then wake up its kelvin call me lor den realise that i am already late for class liao...so miss the first lecture den went for the 9am lecture...I really like Dr sandra lesson she was really cute lor...After that is our grp presentation at 11am le...was veri surprised of wat ms chia chin chin comment..but felt that oni me didnt put in effort...haiz..
After sch me,chunyi n jenni went to chinatown don noe call wat de place to acc jenni take her air ticket n that agency look really like illegal de..haha..after that we walk to chinatown point n have lunch then went down to causeway point to watch Wedding crashes..veri funny show but also felt veri RA le..somehow quite disgusting...after that we went separated way , chunyi went back to sch for huang yi da concert n i went to work den jenni go hm..veri tired somehow get veri irritated during working...after worked me n randell went to eat brownie ..n so full lor..they gave us until 6 slices le..can die le...den after that as usual went hm together lor...

I just cant believe the facts that u did this to me...

2005-08-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

[Wat u say that day is it refering to me??How can i noe the ans??Really don noe wat to do..But really thanx for being there for me when i got problem...]
Its 0230 liao lor n i am still online le...don have to slp lor gotta wake up at 6am den don have to slp lioa lor..just wait until morning den straight away go to sch liao..
wake up at 730 den meet the rest as usual at the same place..den went to lab lesson..after sch went to see ms gwen with rachel,chunyi, and veron n report abt our lose of handphone in the class..and as wat all of us has suspected its really that person according to wat gwen say we can even more confirm that she is the one lor..but also cant do anything coz we didnt caught her red handed..no prove so don have to say so much lor..Anyway also don have the intention of getting back my handphone le..coz for mine is quite sometime liao its definately diff to tract back de..but for chunyi is different lor..hers is so ex le...after speaking to gwen, she drove us to Ang mo kio police head quarter n make a police report..but our intention is just wanna make an awareness..Who knows we stay there for almost 2 hrs just for the report..n has been late to work reached cartel oni at 1830..same as the usual i am the host n quite fun coz the R2 is Randell n shi min..loves working with them lor..really fun...Met meiyan she went to cartel n eat behind her is Kai li lor..like suddenly so many pple coming in at the same time...so i extended to 1030 coz i was late for 1/2 an hr so replace it back lor..den gotta wait for randell till 11 also so punch out le help to fold cutlery for FOC..hehe..den we sit at the alfresco area for 1/2 an hr den leave n take train together...

There is a thift in our class!!

2005-08-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

Wake up at 6 plus in the morning cant slp has been thinking of the thing ytd..But i am still trying my best to be strong le..Though still cant get over it but i noe it also need to take times..Though i wan to noe who that person u r refering to but i just don dare to us coz i noe it wont be me..but who else can it be??I just felt veri sad..but still got to live on ya..until now HS 2080 presentation still haven finish..so tiring looking at veron face is oni one word to discribed n that is STRESS..but i cant help her coz don really noe wat is going on..
Reached Lab heard from Lyana that chunyi has lose her hp ytd in the lab lesson n can u imagine its the same lab lesson n the same place its just that it is 2 weeks apart..Then from that veri moment i noe that it must be someone in our class who did it...but who can it be?? That day i choose to believe that it wont be anyone in our class n kept saying that i lose it in J8 but its not lor..All of us suspect the same person but we got no evidence to confirm that its her..anyway already lose le there is no way we can get back our hp just need to becareful of our own belonging n don be to close to that person den can liao..but at the same time we still gotta act as though nothing has happened n gotta act close to them..anyway i don trust her anymore..that denise also la..who stole her wallet its just someone beside her who did that n she don even noe it...we know her not even 2 mths lor wat make us to trust her so much...
[ Chunyi: My poor girl, don be too sad k..even though we r going to tell gwen also no use liao coz its already gone..if got any problem come to me k..cheer up n remember that we still gain something n that is we sld take care of our own belonging next time k...And pls don use ur dad that old old hp hor if not i don think u dare to step out of ur house..hehe]

Presentation tml...

2005-08-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

Wake up n received a msg from u n that is 0240 midnite u have send me tot that u ton ytd..anyway now i noe that u r not.. U seem to be brighten up my day also seem to be making my day down... i really wan to noe the ans but doesnt wan to be hurt again coz i really cannot take it.. Only working can make me forget everything that has happened n things that u say but after work it still came to my mind can u tell me wat should i do?
I am sorie bro that i have make a decision for so long i know that i sld at least tell u wat i wan but i really don wan u to make a decision for me n i really prefer to stay in current situation..i know that my temper has been veri bad recently but i noe that it wasnt becoz i leave..hope that ya understand..i noe wat i wan n noe wat i am doing... i know u care at me but somehow i felt being force...
When to have breakfast with sis today then go to work..again wat a busy day this is the first time that being a host i don get the chance to stand outside n got to rush in n out like mad doing DR n host job..busy but fun..Again got customer complaint today..today its rico wat to do lor...sian 1/2...after work meet siew leng for dinner then shop for awhile wanted to get a present for him but don noe wat to buy n think that getting him a shirt is the best but none seem to looks nice so ended didnt buy anything but brought myself a necklace..hehe..then went hm..msg veron was supposed to print out tml presentation thing but e mail doesnt seem to be working le..didnt received anything from veron so veron shall print all the info n gotta meet tml again n presentation tml..stress again le..worst part is i am doing the introduction so more nervous lor..haiz...hope i really can speak...

disappointed...

2005-08-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

The maid was not veri nice lor..it was scary but somehow also not veru scary..the worst thing is that steven sitting beside me is more afraid than me i was like omg...Don noe y i oni can chat with the guys but not the girls they like see me like alien like that..is there anything wrong with me?? I was veri disappointed by wat E say today..i didnt expected him to say that to me..Today wasnt as fun as last week..it seem that oni jeff entertained me just now..They took such a long time to think of wat to eat at last they choose Mac but i am not veri hungry so just ate a packet of curly fries..
Supposingly to go swimming with jenni today but we ended up at Kbox coz it was raining..after that went to suntec shopping then went to meet my bunch of brothers at CCK..but i still seem to be veri stress coz roger called me again lor..so last min le he still say he got something else to change really veri irritated...

Thanx 4 ur comfort...

2005-08-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

I was so stressed up by roger today..he was really driving me crazy...he kept saying so many things but i just cant get to the point that wat he wants...n he really irritated me lor..i did not purposely shout at him de its just that y cant i just have a peaceful break instead still got to run here n there..sometime i really cannot figure out how did he cope with his work de.. But really thanx for ya comfort msg that make me more comfortable n beta le..nv thought that a guy would say all those work..hehe..now i know y u wan me to play game with u...but truthfully speaking i dont like to play game la...Really hope that someone were go with me this sunday but most of my classmate say that that show was stupid lor..so sad le..then veron n rachel wanna go n watch this thurs but i cant coz meeting jessica..den after that gotta go 2 work at 6pm.. Jo called me this afternoon when i was in computer labs but i just told her that i don have the intention of going back n i was too tired and busy to think of other thing liao..Pple pls leave me alone ba..i know myself n i know wat i wan..i know that u guys r praying for me n i really appreciate it beside that i really don noe wat to say liao..
When i was abt to reach hm at mrt station i saw aunty n sonia they went to buy dinner..heard aunty that ah ma just came back from hospital n her condition was getting worst n seriously speaking i really don noe how long she can live...her cancer has spread to the lung le..i really don noe wat can i do..but this time i really felt that i have change i no longer feel sad most probably i saw too many of this incident in hospital le..life its like this once u r old u gotta face death this is wat everone of us gotta face..i long know that ah ma were have this day coz see her condition at hm i already guess it le n have make for the worst preparation le...

Pls wake up...

2005-08-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Sometime i really wanna told myself don think too much...wat has been the past is gotta be the past..y always like that le...its so irritating..somemore CBL this thurs..die liao la..veri kan qiong don noe i can make it annot le...then next mon is our 2080 presentation then my grp was rushing like hell like that roger say die die by this week also gotta rush out lor..so no choice everyday gotta burn mignite oil...
Hiaz..i really cannot stand it le..wat is wrong with u lor..how can i go n watched a show with u all over 10 guys..i were feel veri uncomfortable de le..sian..idiot,idiot,idiot...
I know that u need help but i just felt that things wasnt as simple as wat u have told us...really..if u r not going to tell the truth den how r we supposed to help u??anyway u really gotta take care of yourself n as a frene i were try my veri best to help u...

Wat is wrong with u pple??

2005-08-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

12/8/05
Met out with kira,phet fah,evelyn,Ian and cindy at bishan j8..don noe iszzit consider as sway or wat lor..i met phet fah first at j8 coz she reached there early n i was there with siqiao first before she went to work n quickly get a present 4 pf n was really last min wan lor...den pf say she got a frene joining us it was shirley met her once before in swensen..a veri out going person wat crapz also say wan..haha..and somemore she is also from my sch y all so qiao wan..then she got a frene with her also forget called wat name liao..soon cindy reached j8 n we decided to go cartel n eat n guess wat the kitchen was down lor cannot order any food except dessert,drinks n salad n as eve n kira haven reached yet so we decided to sit there n c how long they r going to take to start the kitchen..but we have waited for almost an hour the kitchen is not done yet n eve also arrived le so we decided to go swensen n have dinner..again swensen..sian n i really damn hate swensen lor but since pf got 30% disc den i don mind lor..hehe..somemore all ice cream are selling at $4 so its worth eating also..we get a sit at 7pm n kira oni arrived at 8 plus as she came down from NUS and somemore got no time to buy cindy present so ask her to buy before she come n meet us..After dinner cindy left then we decided to go n watched movie ut ended up didnt watched anything coz was too last min n most of the ticket was selling fast le so no point watching also den guess wat we decided to go cartel n have drink then chit chat..we order 2 drinks n a waffles with ice cream but 8 of us cant even finished one waffle lor coz all of us really too full liao...Somehow felt that i don have much thing to talk with them coz their topic is always swensen its so sian so i was quite quiet tonite...But we saw a veri handsome guy in j8 cartel the guy was really cute that me, kira n pf kept looking..haha..and i supposed that was the guy that cassey told me...We sit there for an hour plus then leave ard 11 plus and we met hermen when we r going to leave j8..he was working in j8 secret recipe but didnt saw him there bfore also...And our dear eve has got herself a bf le according to her they start on national day..she still didnt change same as usual always so cute n funny but hate the way when she kept talking derek,derek n derek in front of me when i don have anymore feeling for him le..but i know she was just trying to be funny...haiz...

13/8/05
When to watch Charles n the chocolate factory with sis at PS and don noe y whenever i watched movie cartel were called me de...cartel called me 3 times but i can ans the phone somemore i was at PS so didnt intend to call back n straight after the show i went to cartel n wanna ask y they called me but i sld have know that they want to ask me to work..really lucky that none of the manager saw me coz yue yuan told me that 4 pple took MC n really sort of staff n somemore i was in skirt n yue yuan say want to run quickily run so i just went off like that...Sister went to work n i went down to bishan cartel to find cassey coz she was having some problem..but think she is fine now le..Hopefully she still can stay in singapore..and from her expression she really doesnt wan to go hm n i also don noe how can i help her lor..
After that i went to meet Edwin n his ball frene coz also nothing to do..His frene all are veri nice pple veri funny and their joke is always veri L..hehe...Met steven at bball court but didnt talk to him at all lor then suddenly he came n ask me a qn when we r on our way to Lot1 but he was a cute guy la..kept asking me that qn till i don feel like answering him le..Can u imagine a girl was in a arcade with 8 guys but Edwin didnt neglect me he was trying his veri best to entertain me le n also steven n Jeff...When Edwin send me hm we met a bunch of yongster looking for trouble n i really don noe wat happened after that so was quite worried but heard from steven that there is nothing so i supposed so lor...But i really didnt tot that we actually chat on phone till 5am this morning..and he really did told me something that he hasnt told anyone before including his buddy..But something really seem to be veri wrong..Can u guys pls tell me wat is going on??

Its time for us to meet again....

2005-08-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

Sorie ya..ytd got not enough of slp so didnt blog...The previous nite i only get to slp for 4hrs..Went to watched BEWITCHED with camay n Ilyana after sch ytd..it was one of the show that i want to watch but it didnt end veri well the show wasnt veri interesting...After the show Ilyana went to meet her bf so me n camay stay at J8 to shop there wasnt many thing coz we already went there on monday le...Till 5pm she went bk to sch for dragon boat training n i went to PS for work...Suddenly i saw a lotz of new staff, the new staff look u really cannot tell whether they r singaporean,chinese or malay wan le...haha..maybe is their skin colour ba...Saw siqiao when i was standing outside n at the same time also no customer...so talk to her for awhile...I really veri pei fu her becoz she can really shop le from 2 till 9pm..somemore she is alone..if for me 2hrs is the most le...Supposed to knocked off at 10pm but the stupid bread station was so dirty n i gotta extend the time to clear up..also don noe why the customer eat until like that dirty the whole bread station..don even noe how to take parmensan cheese so irritating:( And Randell was even later than me coz he need to fold up all the cutlery which was a lotz lor..cannot tahan him so slow so i help him a bit n my a bit its really a bit lor...When we sign out den i realise that he is oni 17 years old..omg..2 years younger than me..sian liao..Such a cute guy but younger than me by 2 years old..haiz...hehe...Reached hm at 11pm after bath see the superstar result n was veri disappointed coz derrick was out..y y y???So many pple support him y he still lose le...Really mediacorps just wanna earn money from the small girls SMS... Quickly complete my elective survey form which i promised roger that i were complete it by ytd nite de so i die die also do it...Intended to continue with my 2080 presentation thingy but i really cannot tahan le n slp in front of my computer...
Lesson start at 11am this morning was supposed to have a grp meeting at 10am but by the time i reached sch is 10.50am le so didnt go n find roger n straight away went to lecture...Elective today again sian..i really hate my elective lor its so bo liao n so sian...After that this evening gotta go n look for pf n cindy present before i meet the rest its so last min lor...Hope that the elective can end earlier so i got the time to buy..hehe...
[To hazel: Really thanx for working for me tonite..sorie to trouble u..thanx thanx thanx my buddy]
[To someone special: I am really sorie always working, working n working..No time to go out with ya..this week was really sort of staff so gotta help my manager..i promised definately there were be time next week k...]

At last i heard from ya..

2005-08-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

Really miss ya..somehow watever thing happened the first person i were think of u..Things seem to be hard but at least i know that u r doing well n at least i got an ans..And remember i am always there to give ya moral support..The msg early in the morning really brighten up my day..but somehow i still feel tired..n don noe y my stupid attitiude is nv going to be change always like to throw temper at pple n don care who they are..just as today i was so irritated by the clinical lesson lecturer she was such a bastard n idiot..i think she don derserve pple to speak properly to her..how can she anyhow ask pple to go for make up lesson when pple are not late..she got the time but we r not so free lor..presentation doesnt seem to be finish life is getting harder wat is this?? Working n working n working do u think i want that...not enough staff just wanna help my manager but it just seem that i am causing trouble to myself..go down to cartel with hazel this afternoon after lesson coz she say she wanna go back to work so we decided to put down our schedule n even she don say from her expression i know that she don really wanna work..i don really know wat is she thinking but i just felt that i am forcing her..hope that i am not..After that she brought a chicago cheese cake n left le but luckily still got my sis to acc me but i also ask her to help me bring my cartel uniform who knows she forget to bring n don care la we just sit down to eat n settle the uniform thing after that..We eat st louis pork ribs n urban read pudding n a cup of cartellina frappe but too bad i didnt get to drink half of the cup ,sis accidentally drop it on the sofa n dirty a bit of my pants..i just felt so irritated n shout at her but i didnt mend to do it she was so angry that she took her bag n just went off..doris came to speak to me n say that y i scold my sis but i didnt know that i had scolded her..anyway don talk abt it liao..btw we r now okie liao..but after that the whole cartel like know abt it like that first doris then Ian den Nicolli..

Giddy & Vomitting= Sick

2005-08-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

8/8/05

Having 3 hrs break so decided to go n watch charles n the chocolate factory but the next show oni at 1550 n we cant watch coz got a lesson at 1800 so we decided to go shopping n realise that there is a lotz of sales but i didnt bring enough of money with me so cant buy my Espirit bag n i realli found that its veri nice somemore oni at $29.90 c if tml or thurs still got annot if got then i buy so i leave it to fath lo...though we walk in a grp but we walk separately coz siqiao was a veri impatient person she cant wait for pple de so i shop with her if not she were be alone also veri bored ma...Went back 2 sch at 5.30 and was the most funniest part of the day coz hazel was trying to get number from a guy wearing in pink on our way back to sch we r so excited when hazel almost get him but its such a disappointing as the guy also notice us ended up didnt even get a single number..hahaha...den realise that the guy wasnt that really handsome coz found that the hairstyle doesnt suit him at all...hehe... So sian to go for the part time lecturer lesson she seem to keep pin pointing at me..
The sadest thing is that after sch when to check whether i got msg on my e other hp annot but realise that it wasnt in my bag anymore..kelvin try calling it but it was off n at that time i noe that my phone is nv gotta be back anymore...i wanna call M1 but don even noe the number at last jenni manage to call in..my number was being suspended n were oni send to my house tml..i thought that i wont cry coz i got another phone but when ilyana came forward to hug me i felt so touch n cried out at the same time i realise that i got a lotz of ringtone n pic save in that phone n just 1 afternoon everything is gone le...The oni thing now is that where am i supposed to get another hp n where the hell its gone when did the person stole it??Or i left it somewhere?? I choose to believe that it wont be someone in our class who do it..i really hope so...

9/8/05

Is he really so busy with NS staff??Or national day thing?? Hasnt recieved any msg n call from him since ytd was really worried..but the oni thing that i can do now is wait...How long am i going to wait le...sian...has been working full shift today really feel like bone cracking now..cartel really poor thing every single day also not enough staff..like this morning cartel was busy like hell n was the first time that i work breakfast got full house de..business was so good that the chef gotta shout stop breakfast ordering as there isnt anymore ingredient le..n oni 3 pple running the floor can u imagine that??Two person took MC lor n poor stella gotta do DR n host at the same time...No host tonite so stella ask me to extend n be host so i thought since its host n somemore got 1.5 pay y not who know i can oni tahan for 3 1/2hr coz i was really too sick to hang on le even just as a host...somemore tml, thurs n sun also host...And this was the first year that i spent National day outside coz every year i were definately stay at hm n watched the national day parade de but i spent it at cartel this year:(

Its gotta be u!!!

2005-08-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

Its city harvest 16th anniversary today at SIS...Meet cassey 9am at kallang mrt den we took a cab down to SIS to queue up..but luckily it wasnt a veri long wait n the whether was damn hot... I wasnt concentrate when pastor kong was preaching coz i was damn tired n eyes was closing coz just slept for 4hr ytd... After svc cassey went to work n i met my cg member n we went down to PS to have lunch together... but half way through i lost them so we decided to go PS indivdually n meet at PS who knows they took the wrong way bus so i reached PS first n went to cartel to check my schedule.. While looking through i realise that they really damn sort of staff lor.. i was being put as Host for 3 weeks le..Not that being host is not good but i just feel veri bad when i was standing outside entertaining customer while my other colleague was running like hell inside.. While waiting for xiuzhen they all just now i have chat with biling for awhile she told me that ytd 4 manager was running becoz the 3 new staff ytd came to cartel with their uniform n told stella they r not going to work le..wat is this lor..they r so irresponsible but thanx god we still can make it till closing without any difficulty...
Finally they reached PS at 4pm n we oni eat our lunch at 4pm actually i already know that definately they were be late de..N we have our lunch at Long john silver all of us having the same combo set A..after eating wendell came to find xiuzhen n they went SIS together so i took over to lok after the kids..n we decided to take Neoprint after that me,crystal n cilia went hm first as the rest wanna continue take neoprint..n so consider we live just opp blk...
I oni manage to take 1/2hr break this evening then after that gotta have dinner..eat again..sian .. finally i get to see baby javier le..he has grow up so big le..veri cute also but cried veri easily... now gotta continue my presentation work again...

I wan an ans..not avoiding pls..its veri unfair to me...

2005-08-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Went to klunch with jenni,jenni frene (lina),Ashley, kelvin,lilin at suntec city K box..but the K Box there the system got something wrong lor..sing till half way everything stop...so we ask for help n extended our time till 2.3opm..after that we went to meet Denise outside kbox n wanna go watch charles n chocolate factory at suntec cinema but chunyi was late n the next show is at 5pm n i cant make it coz gotta work at 6pm..so we decided to go PS n watch who knows all the show was sold out le oni nite ticket is available...we got no choice so wanna choose other movie who knows all the movie has show out if not den is veri late at nite de...so we decided to go n eat n ytd chunyi say wanna eat Pizza hut do today we went to PS pizza hut n eat with Ashley bf,her,Denise, chunyi n jenni..Guess wat denise say today she say she tot that i was a veri fierce person when she first saw me but now was like totally diff..do i really look that fierce??..kelvin has leave kbox at 2pm to go n find HL...Have a wonderful n full meal then we headed to take neo print..Know Ashley n Denise not even 1 mth we r already close like sis le but our class y like that le..But ended didnt watch movie n i went to work on the dot at 6pm... Working as a host again but don noe y everytime i were feel veri bad ecoz i was standing outside doing nothing n the rest are like running like hell in the restaurant so i wld rather go n help them rather that see them busy like hell...The queue was not veri long today but customer keep coming in one by one make me also veri irritated...Supposed to work till 11pm today but too busy le n somemore not enough staff n all the manager gotta be runner to serve food so Nicolli told me to extend 1/2 hr but ltr see them so busy so decided to stay n help them till 12am who knows nicolli told me extend to 1am to fold cutley n i agree le..it has been 1/2 year since i last so closing liao lor ..Now its 3.30am le..think i am going to slp le if not tml really cannot wake up for the svc le...tired le..Good nitez...

I really cannot take it..

2005-08-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

Ever since that day..things started to change no more frequent msg..Is it gotta be the first n the last time??But don worried if that is so i am gotta give up... If i know that things were become like this i wld rather nothing has happened before..not that i am being too sensitive but this type of thing is veri easy to feel de..n pls don treat me as though i am stupid...How i wish that i could turn back the wonderful time that we spend together..ut wat is passed is going to be the passed but it were always stay in my heart forever.. Maybe to u its nothing but to me its a lotz a lotz... i just find that i am useless n failure nothing seem to be smooth but pple always say in life we were definately meet something that unable us to grow n learn de..hope that this is going to be true... I finally know that hasnt been sleeping well this 2 days is all becoz of u... n seriously speaking this is the first time that i have this problem.. Just feel like watching midnight movie but don noe who wan to watch with me..haiz..My feeling now is just wan to shout across the sea!!Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am tired pls let me off.....
My sis is too stress le wont be hm tonite to slp so i am gotta be alone tonite....dad is working somemore gotta do presentation thingy but just felt like talking to someone....

Nw i know how important u r to me...

2005-08-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

Thanx u buddy..thanx for being there for me..although it wasnt something serious but i am too emotion le so i just cried out out of no where coz i am too worried abt my sis le she is the oni sis that i have..we r the closest at hm we can talk anything under the sun..but this 2 days she was behaving abnormally she don talk to us n get irritated easily when we talk to her ytd she even scold me out of no where though i am angry but i didnt say anything coz most probably she is having problem in sch..Just now then know that she has been conselled in sch 4 quite some time le but i didnt even know a single thing just felt that being a sister like me i really feel like a failure...She is a person who can face anything without any problem de n is much more stronger than me in terms of character or am i wrong?? Being together as sister for 17 years don i know wat kind of person is she?? Someone told me to ask her personally but can someone tell me where can i start from?? Sorie to let u gals worried i am really sorie it just suddenly remind me of my mum..how i got up in a fearful family is diff from other pple no one can understand how it is like to have such a feeling with u for 19 years..no choice i believe that its all being arrange before we came to this world..who can i blame??its oni myself..but i really thank god for giving me such a wonderful dad who are always being there for us...
Lesson end at 11am ltr n gotta go to work ltr but most probably i am going to be late coz there is a grp meeting ltr at 11am hope that it wont take long but at the same time i also don have the feeling to go n work but i can just let cartel know that i wont be working without a reason n how r they supposed to find a replacement for me in such a short time...
Heard pannie say this morning that 'Charles n the chocolate factory ' is veri nice if can i really wish to go n watch tonite..see how things goes if someone r willing to acc me...n today after work i die die also gotta go out coz gotta buy present for the bdae girls...hmm..but wat sld i buy le???Any idea pple??